Courtney's Contemplations . . .

Sorry for my absence. I don’t really have a good reason, other than life happens . . . you know.

Yesterday, I was listening to a Christian podcast on marriage (currently one of my favorite topics), and it was talking a bit about the book “The Case for Marriage” (Linda J Waite and Maggie Gallagher) . . . in the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t read the book but have heard excerpts . . . in listening to some of the evidence from the book supporting the grounds biblical marriage (which I do wholeheartedly endorse and believe in), I really began to think. Not only about marriage, but about biblical, life, “rules” in general.

I should probably point out before moving on with this that I am a full, cover to cover, biblical literalist. So when the bible defines something as sin . . . as dangerous, destructive, and/or forbidden . . . I buy into that. I believe that calling sin what it is, defined by the bible, is not passing judgment but acknowledging God’s truth. But here’s the thing, I don’t believe that it ever, under any circumstances gives Christians license to act in any manner but love. As cliché and sometimes, controversial as it may be, you absolutely can love the sinner and hate the sin. You can hate evil, and its destructive power, while still loving those doing the things that aren’t Godly and in their best interest. These things are not mutually exclusive. And we need to seek God and His word on (1) if it is our place to address those things with specific people because you know what? It’s not always our place or our job, and (2) How we are to address sin, if it is something God is calling us to do.

As Christians (as parents, leaders, teachers . . . ???) we often want to make it about behavior and behavior modification. If we see people doing the right thing, we’re happy. Regardless, of what’s happening in their hearts. And if we look good on the outside who really cares about our hearts? Right?

Wrong . . .

God cares. Hugely.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” Matthew 23:27-28

Y’all, Jesus wasn’t talking to the “sinners”. He was talking to the “church” people (if you will). And here’s the thing. Jesus isn’t opposed to good behavior. Quite the contrary. He wants us to do what’s right. He hates sin. Go on and read the rest of the new testament. Paul (and the other writers in the New Testament) doesn’t play around. He’s blunt, and honest, and very clear about the line between right and wrong. But . . . it needs to come from a place of a heart transformation, and not behavior modification.

We don’t behave to get God to love us. We are transformed and changed because of His love for us. And He doesn’t just give us a list of arbitrary rules, right and wrong, to keep us under His proverbial thumb and control us. He gives us His word, the bible and His guidelines, because He created us, and He knows that outside of those guidelines we will forever chase fulfillment, joy, peace, and wholeness . . . but without Him and the help of the Holy Spirit, we will never find it.

So yes, I believe in and am a huge cheerleader for dating relationships and marriage (this is just one example of many issues out there in our world today) designed and done God’s way (and that’s a whole other, multifaceted issue that I can’t even begin to unpack here). He created it that way because He created us, and He loves us and knows how we are to truly thrive. And I’ll never apologize for my beliefs, but also know this, my love for those around me isn’t lessened any by the choices they make. I’m here for you, and I want God’s best for you. I’m not here to beat you over the head and make you behave, but I do pray for God to transform your heart (and mine) wherever and however that needs to happen.

“I will give you new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. Then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; you shall be My people, and I will be your God.” Ezekiel 36:26-29

The starting point and the ending point is always, without fail, Jesus . . . our Savior . . . His sacrifice . . . our forgiveness . . . Without His salvation and the subsequent transformation that comes from entering into an intimate relationship with Him, then we are doing nothing more than striving in our power. Not only is it not sustainable, but we’ll never have true peace. That’s not to say, the Holy Spirit isn’t going to work in you, with you, and ultimately through you, but you cannot do it alone.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12: 1-2

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

Just an hour ago, I sat on our back porch as I watched my youngest jump happily on the trampoline. After a string of oppressively hot and humid days the likes of which are all too common during our Central Texas summers, a northerly breeze and low humidity ushered in a rare, “almost cool” June day. While watching her laugh and giggle and carry on an endless string of one sided conversation, completely oblivious to all the serious goings on of the outside world, I thought to myself, “What a perfectly beautiful and peaceful afternoon.”

At the same time, I was keenly aware of the dichotomy in that moment. There I sat, in my peaceful, safe haven of a backyard and realized how at odds it seemed with the current state of our community, our nation, and our world. Our world that after months of stress and stay at home orders, amid the coronavirus pandemic, seemed to have emerged into utter chaos. Tensions and anxiety and anger are beyond high on so many levels. Heartbreak and grief, that begin on a very personal level in my own life (hence the silence as of late) but extend outward encompassing person after person and family after family in our community, seem all too common. Just this morning, I awoke to news of yet another senseless and horrific tragedy coming out of my hometown.

It’s almost impossible to ignore the dichotomy, and I’ll go a step further and say, I do not want to. Instead I want to sit in it and look at everything that is happening . . . everything that is being said and done, and in that contrast seek God. I pray, and I ask God how can I take the peace I feel in that quiet moment on my back porch and extend it outward to others.

There are things that will only come with time and processing. Loss and grief must be processed and allowed to chart their course. There are other things that require me to look inward . . . at my own thoughts, my own ideas, my own motivations and ask myself over and over again, “Am I being the hands and feet of Jesus on this earth? Am I extending the love of Christ in every single action and every single word? From the stranger on the street to the people I see every single day?”

Because so much of the anger and hatred and ugliness, some of it blatant, a lot of it passive aggressive, I see isn’t coming from the unsaved and the unchurched but Christians. We are so busy screaming about our rights and insisting we are right that we fail to see the damage we are doing and the people we are pushing away. We have the right to do a lot of things . . . we have the right to our opinions, and we have the obligation to stand up for truth, but it should always be done in love. When the insistence of my rights comes at detriment of my witness and my service to others, I’ve completely missed the point. And just because I can does not mean I should. Sometimes, a lot of times, reaching others for Jesus means I’m not only going to be inconvenienced, but I’m going to have to sacrifice something.

Some of you might be asking yourself right now, “What in the blue blazes is she talking about?” I’ll admit I’m a little bit vague and all over the place, but if you want to know what I’m talking about, I’m talking about all of it. I’m talking about current events but even more so about pervasive attitudes and conditions of the heart that have become acceptable within the church while simultaneously doing huge harm to our witness to an unsaved world.

One of the most oft quoted passages of scripture is 1 Corinthians 13 . . .

¹ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

It’s one of my favorites. It’s beautiful and brings about all the good feels, but the questions I have to ask myself over and over is, “Am I living it?” Because it isn’t just meant to be a pretty passage recited at weddings. It’s meant to be a way of life for Christ followers.

And then there’s this . . .

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:14-21

This one is an even harder pill to swallow . . . because you know what? It’s easy to love those who are like us. It’s not even that hard to love those who lead a different life and have different views, but that are nice to or at least tolerant of us. But put someone in our lives who pushes us, who persecutes us, who attacks us, and suddenly, it all goes out the window . . . I mean does God actually want us to do good to those who have done us harm?

I could ramble on forever . . . but this is already far too long, and the scriptures speak for themselves. As a follower of Christ, I refuse to live in an echo chamber where I only hear my own voice, my own hurts, and my own opinions. That doesn’t mean that I will agree with everything that is said or that comes at me. But what that does mean is I’ll take the time to seek God’s face and study His word (my ultimate basis for truth in every single issue and area) and look at my own heart and my own need to change some things. It means that I will strive to be more empathetic and compassionate. I’m a work in progress. We all are. I haven’t arrived or figured out how to solve all the problems of the world. Heck, I just yelled at my kids so obviously, I still have some work to do right here at home (so much for that peaceful backyard moment . . . ), but I know the one Who has arrived and Who does have it all figured out. And He is working on me. Because I do want to be more than a “clanging cymbal”.

 Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

“Be angry and do not sin . . . ” (Ephesians 4:26a)

Six simple words. So easy to set as a standard for others, yet, so difficult to follow in our own lives. The perfect “do as I say, not as I do” scripture that we really wish everyone else would live by. All day yesterday, I turned these words over in my mind. These six words that are neither particularly complex nor hard to understand. And this morning, after asking God to speak through me and use my words to speak both truth and healing, I opened my bible and read the entire passage of scripture surrounding these words because I find that context is always important for complete understanding.

“²⁵ Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. ²⁶ “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, ²⁷ nor give place to the devil. ²⁸ Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. ²⁹ Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. ³² And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:25-32

My first question, is always, “Who is the intended audience of this scripture?”

We learn and glean from every word of the Bible. 2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete thoroughly equipped for every good work.” The Bible, in its entirety, is the instruction manual for Christians, but in this particular case, Paul is writing to the church of Ephesus. These were followers of Christ working out their salvation, learning to walk as Jesus walked. I can assume, by extension, that what was good for the early church is just as relevant today. And this entire passage very much applies to the modern church as well.

My second question is, “What can I learn from this?”

As I read this passage in Ephesians, I took it verse by verse and word by word. Because I wanted to not only know but fully understand what it means to be angry and not sin, and the only way to really grasp that is to know both what leads into those words and what comes after those words.

Paul tells us in vs. 25 to put away lying. Y’all if we are not telling the truth then we are lying. That seems incredibly obvious, and yet, I wonder how often we lie to ourselves and others. Maybe it’s not blatant lying, but refusal to acknowledge reality is, in fact, lying. Living in denial, with our heads buried in the proverbial sand, is nothing more than a fancy, dressed up lie. The starting place is always truth. Without truth there’s no moving forward.

The passage then goes on to tell us to “be angry and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” So many of us are confused. We’ve been taught to see anger in and of itself as the sin, but it’s not. Anger is a God given emotion that has a valid time and place and justification in our lives. In verse 26 anger is an action . . . something done with a beginning and an end. It is not a thing (a noun) that takes root in our lives and hearts. And that’s an important distinction. We have every right to righteous anger, but we must use it to further the kingdom of God and to effect change. We may never use it as an excuse to sin, to cause pain and destruction whether that be with our words or our actions, and if we allow anger to take root, to allow the sun to set on our anger, it will give the devil a foothold in our lives (vs. 27). It will turn us into angry, bitter, and unforgiving people who don’t seek to further the kingdom in any way, who don’t attempt to change the world around us, but instead seek to point fingers at everything everyone else does wrong. It will turn us into jaded, cynical people that no longer see the beauty in God’s creation.

But this passage doesn’t stop with these words. Paul goes on to tell us in verse 29, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

Corrupt – unwholesome – rotten, worthless

Edification – the act of building

Are my words building others up? Are they edifying and imparting grace or are they unwholesome? Are they tearing others down? I can’t have it both ways.

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” vs. 30-32

I can be very good with words. I can also be very good at using my words badly. And this is something that the Holy Spirit is constantly working on in me. Because when I use my words, in a moment of anger, even the most righteous, justified anger, to harm others, I am grieving the Holy Spirit. But I cannot let “bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor (shrieking), and evil speaking” become part of who I am. As a follower of Christ, I must be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving. That does not mean I do not stand up for justice and stand against injustice. That does not mean I do not stand up for right. Not for a second. Not even close. But it means the motives of my heart come from a place of knowing that God created every single human being in His image. Every. Single. One. And I am responsible for every word I speak and every act I commit. That’s a heavy weight to carry on my own, but thankfully, Jesus does the heavy lifting for me. Thankfully, He died and rose again for every single one of us.

As I write this, my heart is heavy with the turmoil in our nation. My heart is heavy because in the year 2020 we are still fighting against racism, hatred, and division on so many fronts. My heart is heavy with Christians that continue to sow discord with their words and refuse to acknowledge truth even when it is blatant and obvious. My heart is heavy with the hatred, violence, and destruction that is running deep in our country. My heart is heavy because there are those that see some lives as having more value and relevance than others. But God created every single life, from conception, with equal value and purpose, and He desires a personal relationship with each and every person.

I often hear people say, “Our country needs Jesus.” And I could not agree more. But it needs to start in the church. The people of God have to start standing up for truth in every arena. And we cannot tolerate hatred or discord within our ranks. We have to speak truth in love, and we have to walk it out in such a way that others see Jesus in us.

“Until we become kingdom-minded and not denominationally, class or racially-minded, we will not be Christ- minded, we will not be socially-minded to address divisions between us.” Dr. Tony Evans

“¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them” Psalm 139:13-16

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

The ‘Rona Homeschool Academy 2020 has officially closed here in the Davis household, and I’m not mad or sad about it! Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus! I am confident the angels are singing “glory” right here with me.

My kids will still “learn” during the summer. They’ll read. They’ll write. They’ll even do some math, but we’re doing it on our terms.

These past couple months have been challenging in so many ways (not just on the home school front) . . . and that right there is the understatement of the year. But, like so many, I’ve learned some important things and been reminded of others.

I’ve been reminded that I most definitely do not want to home school my kids, but if I have to, I absolutely can. (Dear God, Please, please, please . . . let these kids go back to school in August. Amen.)

I’ve learned that grace and patience and both extending and asking forgiveness are all more important than I ever realized. Toward ourselves. Toward others. On social media and in real life. Can I get a witness?

I’ve learned that I can be flexible, and y’all I am gloriously inflexible most of the time. But I can be flexible.

I’ve been reminded that I need space and quiet, or I can get grumpy (I know shocker). My children don’t really believe in space and quiet so I’m taking a whole lot of deep breaths and sending them outside.

Along those same lines . . . I’m reminded that cleaning is therapeutic for me so sometimes I put on my headphones, turn on a podcast, and ignore them while I vacuum. Judge me all you want.

I’ve been reminded (and I very much knew this, but oh my goodness, I really KNOW this now) that my kids’ teachers and administrators and support staff and therapists and anyone that does anything with them at all are rockstars. All. Of. Them. And while I think they’re all deserving of . . . I don’t know . . . an all expense paid trip to Hawaii . . . just a few kind words and a simple gift sent to their homes and/or email goes a long way toward letting them know they are appreciated.

I’ve learned that you need to think, research, and filter before you post on social media. Also, that unfollow button is great for peace of mind. And everyone is following someone or something. You’ve just got to take a look at who or what it is you follow. And keeping with this line of thought for just a second, I’m reminded that NO man (or woman) on this earth, including political figures, are without fault. I can take the good and recognize the not so good and the outright bad. And believe me there are all three with everyone. So I will not hold up or idolize anyone but Jesus no matter who they are or where they fall politically (yes, I said “idolize” because sadly, I think a lot of Christians do just this with men in authority both politically and even with leaders in the church . . . they cannot seem to admit that these men . . . and sometimes women . . . are human and can say and do things very wrong at times, and I’ll step off that soapbox now).

I’ve been reminded that I need to work out for my mental health as much as my physical health. And when I don’t want to do it at all is when I need it the most.

I’m reminded how much I appreciate church and being able to gather without worrying about social distancing and all that entails. Attending church is on the top of my list of things that I definitely took for granted. (Please know, that I fully support social distancing and wearing masks and all other measures that ensure the safety of others. I don’t think I have the right to put others at risk. Ever.)

I’ve learned that my kids are the equivalent of human garbage disposals and eat approximately 853 times/day.

I’ve learned that I really like it when my husband is home more. Even though it means that things are little slower than normal in the real estate world. The blessing and the curse is that it didn’t last long (and we are very thankful for the fact that Patrick is busy and working). But I definitely will miss the days of him being home.

I’m reminded how much we love our extended families. We miss everyone and are definitely excited to start visiting again in the coming weeks.

I’ve learned that this time has been something to be cherished. Our calendars and schedules were wiped clean. And we’ve been reminded that the most important things in life are those we love and not the things we do or have. I think we often seek entertainment as a way of filling voids in our lives, but when the outside entertainment became thin or totally unavailable, we learned to make our own fun at home with those we love. And so, even as we slowly return to normal, I hope to never go back to the constant need to go somewhere and do something. I hope we hold on to a little bit of quarantine in our every day lives.

Ultimately, I’ve learned I am more than blessed. Right here. Right now.

*Finally, I’d like thank Amazon Prime and HEB Delivery for helping us through these trying times. The good Lord knows, I couldn’t have made it without them. 😉

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

We’ve been doing this whole quarantine thing for two (loooonnnnngggg) months. I know I’m not the only mom who feels like on some days the only thing keeping me from losing my ever loving mind is the countdown to school ending, and hopefully, restarting in August (we’ll remember, I’m not about that home school life), a whole lot of prayer, and the good chocolate hidden where the kids can’t reach it . . . maybe . . . I may or may not have threatened Andrew that if he touches my chocolate he will be grounded for at least a week . . . desperate times people . . . I mean, yesterday, I lost a gallon of milk. An entire gallon. I had it. Then I didn’t. I found it, thankfully within a few minutes, in the laundry room.

My youngest, Anna, is a mess . . . she’s beyond hilarious. So much so that oftentimes when one of us is correcting her the other has to leave the room so she doesn’t see us laughing. But she’s still a mess . . . a hilarious mess . . . you never know what new shenanigans each day will bring. And because I never want to be one to keep all the fun to myself, I thought I’d share just a small glimpse of what quarantine life with Anna looks like (it’s like normal life with Anna but on steroids).

She has this habit of shoving things into places they don’t belong. I will find shirts shoved in her jewelry boxes, toys and books and clothing behind the couch cushions, and laundry in the dog’s bed. But her latest and greatest trick is putting stuff through the small openings of the cover and straight into the wheel of the row machine. So I’ll sit down to row, and she’ll say, “No! Don’t row today!” Which is a pretty good indicator that I should take the cover off the wheel and check it, but I rarely do. I usually just try to row anyway, and whatever is in there sounds like rapid gunfire going off and flies out like shrapnel all over the den. At which point, I remove the cover and vacuum up the mess with her screaming about how much she hates the noise and the vacuum and promising to never do it again. No amount of disciplining, threatening, or consequences will stop her from doing it. Believe me. I. Have. Tried.

She wears, at a minimum, two pairs of shorts/pants and two shirts at a time. There’s usually a tutu and a tiara or hat plus a couple (or a dozen) pieces of jewelry thrown in for good measure. I am currently looking for a way to lock up her clothes so she’ll quit with the constant wardrobe changes. On Sunday, we went to a park for a little while to safely get out of the house. She wore shorts under leggings. I didn’t catch this until we were at said park so whatever. While we were walking on the trails she stops and looks at me and says, “Do you smell that???” To which I reply, “Smell what?” And her response (which was 100% serious), “It smells like coronavirus.” So I’m standing there trying not to laugh, “Okay . . . what does coronavirus smell like?” And to finish the whole conversation she looks at me and says, “Like a vacuum cleaner,” and then continues right on her merry way.

A couple days ago she got into a container of Vaseline, rubbed it all over herself, and tracked it through the house. But first, she turned the thermostat down to 57 degrees . . . and set it there. Because she ain’t about that quarantine life, and she’s going to make sure she keeps it interesting.

All that to say, she’s still the best little thing in the world. She lives and loves big and boldly and passionately. She’s emotional and funny and wants me to rub her back all day every day. And even on the days when I think I might legit lose my mind, I can’t imagine life without her.

Note one: Do not give me parenting advice. I’m not here for it. I love my kids. I take care of my kids. I discipline my kids. No one is mistreated. So just laugh and judge me in silence.

Note two: I also have a 12 year old that is an amazing, loving, and funny but also, smelly, hormonal, and a messy kid in his own right. But since he’s older and has opinions about all the things, but mostly his privacy, I don’t share his funny stories much anymore.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

We made it to Friday . . . again.

We survived another week of stay at home, social distancing, home schooling, craziness . . .

Eight weeks ago my kids left school for spring break, and we thought they’d be back at in week, maybe two or three, at most. Then we personally made the decision to cancel, well, everything in the immediate future, circle our proverbial wagons, and pretty much park ourselves at home. And that was followed by the government making it official. Now we are looking at things slowly coming back and trying to find out where our new normal lies. For each family and person, it’s going to look different. It’s going to happen at a different pace and with different comfort levels for everyone, and that’s okay. Have respect and give grace. That’s the message playing on repeat in my head.

I sat down this morning with my actual, in real life, bible and journal thinking that it had been “a while” since I had carved out more than five minutes to really read and pray and take notes, only to realize that “a while” was over a month ago. True quiet time has been scarce these days, and it seems that staying home has us busier than ever before. It’s not that I haven’t read the bible or prayed for over a month, but it hasn’t been my usual, focused time, set aside to read and pray and write. It has been more snatches of scripture and short devos on my bible app. It has been praying and reading and listening as I’m going and moving and doing and trying to keep up with the demands of two kids home, with me. All. The. Time. Have I mentioned I’m an introvert that loves her peace and quiet and alone time??? I’ll be completely honest, nothing about this situation, especially my current bible study practices and quiet time status, or lack thereof, is ideal nor is it conducive to growth in my relationship with God but more maintenance. Maintenance is fine for a short season, but if you maintain too long, it can easily slip into stagnation. And my relationship with God has never been something that is just meant to be maintained, and it is definitely not something that should ever be stagnant.

That’s not to say, I’m condemning myself or any other person that has found this to be their struggle. We are living in strange times, and we are constantly have to adjust how we do daily life. So grace should be given in abundance, but if I’ve realized anything in these times of “quarantine” it’s every single relationship in our lives . . . whether that be with God, or our spouse, or our kids . . . needs to be fed and lovingly tended. Time together doesn’t always equal quality time, and relationships happen on purpose rather than by accident. That’s not a bad thing. That’s actually a really great thing. It’s worth every effort and any and all work it takes. And if we keep those relationships in the right order and give them the proper priority in our lives . . . God, first, spouse, second, kids, third, and so on . . . then the work is much less stressful and much more enjoyable, and each subsequent relationship seems to be maintained with more ease. So here’s to taking the time and making the effort because whether we’re at home or on the go, the most important parts of our lives aren’t found in material things, or being entertained, or being able to do all things and go all the places, but instead, are found in the relationships we have with those we love.

And that’s it y’all. Those are my thoughts on this Friday afternoon. Nothing life shattering or super spiritual but honest and real and hopefully, relatable to many of you.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

This coming July will mark 17 years of being married to my husband. This coming October will mark 22 years since we started dating. We’ve been together since we were 17 . . . more than half of our lives, and we’ve been through a lot together. We dated long distance for four years while I attended college, and we got married just a couple months after I graduated but a good solid year and a half before Patrick was finished. After trying for quite a long time to get pregnant, we were finally expecting our oldest in November of 2007, only to be surprised with a premature emergency C-section five weeks before he was due, along with the news that any future pregnancies would be extremely high risk. We’ve been through losses of loved ones and the immensely huge loss of the first little one we were in process to adopt which was probably the most devastating thing through which I would walk. We adopted, the most feisty, beautiful, amazing little girl with some pretty large special needs that have brought me to tears and us to our knees more times than I can count. And all of those things are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Had you told me, 22 years ago, what our lives would look like today, I might not have believed you. Had you told me, 22 years ago about the ups and downs we’d go through to get here, I might have headed for the hills . . . just kidding . . . sort of. All joking aside, because I really did end up with the best of the best, there’s a reason God doesn’t show us what the future holds before it happens, and I’m convinced it’s because most of us would never choose the path intended for us. Human nature tells us to avoid hard at all cost, but it’s in the challenging times, the hard times that we grow. I think marriage is one of the many tools God uses to refine us, to mold us, and to transform us, and it’s the challenging times, the really hard times in marriage that can either tear us apart or push us together.

Here’s the thing, I’m no marriage expert nor will I ever pretend to be one. But over the past few years I’ve seen marriages of people I love fall apart. And it makes me sad. I’m not here to point a finger or stand in judgment. But I’ve seen people I care very much about do some really mind blowing, self destructive and marriage destructive things. I’ve seen friends and family have to walk away from dangerous* and heartbreaking situations. And if you’ve walked the road of a bad divorce or are currently walking this road, please find a support system that will love you and help you through this. Do not walk this alone.

At the same time, I’ve watched other marriages collapse, not because of any one thing done wrong, or any one person being to blame, but because everything and everyone (in the most generic and general sense of the word) became more important than their spouse, and one day they looked up and realized they just didn’t care to make it work anymore. And those right there are the marriages I want people to fight for. Those are the times I want to shout, “This isn’t hopeless, but it takes work!” That’s what makes me want to work to make my own marriage work. It is very easy, after being together for so many years . . . after two kids, and work, and the busy-ness of daily life, and laundry to be done, and dishes to wash, and mortgages and bills to pay . . . you know, all the mundane, boring, not exciting or romantic, everyday things . . . to put your marriage on the backburner . . . or even worse, to not even have it on a burner at all. And here’s the thing, many couples do this and don’t get a divorce. They don’t separate. They don’t cheat with another person or abandon their spouse . . . but they do become lazy. They become lackadaisical and complacent in their marriages, and they reach the point where they just exist in their relationship.

If you’ve been around for a little bit, you know I’m not a big beginning of the year goal setter. I don’t do a “word of the year” or resolutions. Those just aren’t my things. I do ask God to give me a scripture of the year, and this year He gave me this one:

“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight!” Isaiah 5:20-21

And I thought,”Well that’s nice, God. I mean it’s not exactly screaming ‘inspiration’ at me, but okay, I’ll go with it.” Let me tell y’all, sometimes we want inspiration when what we really need is truth. And God was absolutely telling me the truth. One area that I began to strongly feel I should be praying more about and asking God to bless and grow was my marriage. I would never have said, our marriage was bad or even just “okay”, but the truth is, we both, as most couples do, had areas where we let laziness creep in. And I’m kind of embarrassed to admit, that other than an occasional whine fest when Patrick made me mad, I wasn’t praying for my marriage with either the frequency or the fervency that I should.

Then in early February, Gateway Church (in Southlake, TX) had a series of messages given by Jimmy Evans, the founder of Marriage Today, entitled the Four Laws of Love. My attitude when I first saw the sermon series was, “Oh . . . been there . . . done that.” Before Patrick and I were ever married, we listened to Jimmy Evans’s Marriage on the Rock teachings . . . on cassette tapes, no less . . . yeah, that’s how old we are. The teachings were excellent and full of sound advice, but we were young and newly engaged, and while a lot of “stuff” stuck from those teachings, a lot didn’t because we just didn’t have the frame of reference we have now. So you’d think that my attitude would be one of wanting to re-learn and re-listen, but instead it was one of “I can’t be bothered with this right now”. And God immediately showed me that this was just one of example of what was meant by “wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight”. I thought I knew too much to learn more.

So I listened, and I realized that I still have a whole lot to learn. I needed to look at my own life . . . at my own marriage . . . I needed to look at the places where I was calling “evil good, and good evil”. I read my bible, and I prayed, and I finally came to a place where I asked God to show me the things that needed to change about me. Not my husband. Me. And. Oh. My. Gosh. Do you know how easy it is to ask God to change your spouse and how absolutely hard it is to ask God to show you what needs to change about yourself? Y’all I saw nothing wrong with anything I did. But I was often annoyed, not always supportive . . . I would nag and gripe about the most trivial things and would pick fights rather than calmly communicating my feelings .

I often tell my youngest, “Use your words rather than throwing a fit”, but I wasn’t living what I was teaching on any level. And I would often find myself justifying my actions by saying, “Well, we may argue and not always communicate well. We may fight, but we would never __________.” Fill in that blank with any awful thing you can think of that a married couple might could do to one another. We’re Christians so “we would never . . . “. And quite frankly, that’s an extremely prideful and dangerous attitude to have. Maybe that was true. Maybe it is true . . . the “we would never _______”. But the bottom line is, the work we put in today creates the marriage we will have 10 years from now. And I realized I didn’t just want an okay, complacent marriage where we just exist together. I want a phenomenal marriage full of all the good things that God has for and intended for marriage.

So yeah, my marriage is not a goal in and of itself because there will never be a point where we’re done working on it. Yes, we still disagree and fight from time to time because I’m still 100% Courtney and my husband is still 100% Patrick, and we’re both 100% strong willed and stubborn, but I can honestly, say that, maybe for the first time ever, I’m ready and willing to let God do the work in me that needs to be done in order to have a great marriage. I’m just sorry it took 17 years to get here. And don’t worry, I won’t be writing a marriage help book or leading a seminar for couples anytime soon (which is why I linked the sermon series and Marriage Today website above . . . I’m sending you straight to the experts). I’m here to tell you that God wants good for you, and He wants good for you in your marriage. But like I’ve said before, obedience is the key that unlocks God’s blessings, and prioritizing your marriage, your spouse, is absolutely an act of obedience to God that will lead to huge blessings.

*I’ve addressed this before, but I want to reiterate, if you’re in a marriage where you’re being abused, emotionally or physically, you’re not in a healthy marriage, and at the very least you need to separate from that person and seek professional help on what your next steps should be. Abuse of any sort, adultery, ongoing substance abuse and refusal to get help, abandonment . . . all of these things are not healthy, and it needs to be noted that no one is perfect, but in order for a marriage to work you both need to start from a safe and healthy place.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

“And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Acts 2:21

“He who has clean hands and a pure heart, Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, Nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive blessing from the Lord, And righteousness from the God of his salvation.” Psalm 24:4-5

I opened my bible and these words from the 24th Psalm stared back at me. “He who has clean hands and a pure heart, Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, Nor sworn deceitfully . . . ” and I couldn’t help but think that not a single one of us would ever qualify to “receive blessing from the Lord, And righteousness from the God of his salvation.” Not. A. Single. One.

I was raised in a grace based denomination. “Salvation is through grace alone. Not works.” I heard it from the day I was born. But at the same time, I also heard, even if it wasn’t meant this way, “You must . . . you must be good. You must behave. You must _______ or God will not _______. Christians don’t do/believe/say ______. ” And while I do not think that anyone was ever telling me that I had to earn my salvation, I believe Satan took well intentioned teaching and guidance and twisted it in my mind so I heard, “You must be good . . . you must be good or God won’t love you . . . you must be good or God won’t be pleased with you . . . you must be good or you might not really be saved . . .” . And whatever “good” was I was going to excel at it.

So I was “good”. I was very good. As a child. As a teenager. As a young adult. Did I mess up? Yes, I did. But mostly, I strived to be perfect . . . morally, ethically, outwardly, inwardly . . . perfection was always the goal. It was exhausting, and because of the constant striving, from a very young age, I oscillated between two, seemingly, dichotomous traits . . . shame . . . shame every time I did make a mistake, every time I messed up, every time I had a bad thought, every time I was less than what I had decided was “perfect” . . . deep shame that constantly told me I could never measure up, but I’d better keep trying . . . and pride . . . pride that crept in when I was killing it and said in this quiet whisper in my mind “look at how good I am . . . look at me earning my way . . . my salvation . . .”.

In my early 20s it hit me squarely in the face. The realization that I could be the “best” . . . I could be a really good person . . . I could walk through life almost perfectly, but almost isn’t ever going to be good enough. I would never actually get there. Because even if all your actions seem right, the striving, the pride, the insistence that you are good . . . that I was good . . . they were an idol, and my hands and my heart were far from clean.

That can sound kind of depressing. That can be a real bummer. And this is where you have a choice. You can look at yourself . . . you can start listing ALL the things wrong with you. I did. My list was eternally long. And it was as shameful as it was long.

OR

You can look to Jesus.

You can look to the grace of the cross.

“For by grace you have been save through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

Grace – from the greek “charis” – (a) grace, as a gift or blessing brought to man by Jesus Christ (Strong’s 5485)

“A gift or blessing brought to man by Jesus Christ” . . .

Because here’s what grace does. It takes all that stuff that isn’t good. It takes the sin, the ugly, the pride, the striving, the work . . . it erases it all with the blood of Christ. And instead of man trying to reach God, which isn’t possible on any level, it is our Heavenly Father, sending His son to be hung on the cross, as a sacrifice for our sins, so that we never have to try to reach Him again. It is the Father going to His children because He knows nothing they can do will get them to Him.

I often hear well meaning Christians say, “You can’t be a Christian and _______.” But here’s the only qualification for salvation “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from he dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.” Romans 10:9-10

That’s it folks. And I think, if we truly mean it when we confess those words . . . if we’re truly seeking God’s salvation (which if you’re sitting there wondering if you really mean it . . . I’m pretty certain you do . . . it’s not complicated . . . it’s not tricky . . . it’s not hard) . . . it’s at that moment everything changes.

“Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?” Romans 2:4

As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that behavior modification is not a heart change. There is absolutely a time for teaching and guiding and addressing sin, but it needs to come from a place of God’s goodness. And I do believe that obedience is both protective and leads to natural and spiritual blessings. Not that we earn anything, but obedience to God and His ways can save us so much grief and hurt and heartbreak. BUT the starting point should always be, it has to always be, accepting Jesus as your Savior . . . accepting His grace and salvation as a gift freely given and never earned. We grow from the point of salvation. We do not work to earn that salvation. And as we grow in our relationship with Jesus, I firmly believe that He changes our hearts. That He shows us the things in ourselves that need to be different.

Paul speaks in Romans 5 and 6 of the grace of God.

“Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through the Lord Jesus Christ our Lord. What shall we say then? Shall we continue to sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?” Romans 5:20-6:2

Growing in a God, learning, and changing are a life long process. As long as we’re on this earth, I believe He will continue to peel back the layers. To lovingly teach, admonish, guide, and change us. And if ever we think we’ve arrived, if ever I think that I’ve arrived, then that is glaring evidence to me that God still has a lot of work to do. And spoiler alert, I’m not arriving this side of Heaven. For me pride and arrogance and perfection and judgmental-ness and yes, even shame and feeling like I’m not enough (which circles back to pride) are areas where God continually works. At almost 39 years old, I think God is just scratching the surface of transformation in my life. So much has changed. So much still needs to change. But God is never in a hurry. He takes His time. He lovingly and tenderly teaches and transforms and molds us.

If you’ve never accepted the free gift of God’s grace and forgiveness then that is where you start. There is no decision you’ll ever make that is more important. That brings more hope, more deep joy, and more peace, in both good times and hard times, than that to follow Jesus. You don’t need anyone else to but you and Jesus to get it done. All you have to do is talk to Him. He’s always there. He’s always ready and willing to listen.*

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

* And I do encourage you to find a Bible believing church where you can learn and grow in God’s grace.I know finding a church can be challenging at these times, but there are no shortage of churches teaching, preaching, and praying on the internet until it’s once again safe to meet in person. So if you need help finding resources feel free to reach out. I’ll do my best to help you. And if you need prayer or have questions, I’m also here for that as well. I don’t have all the answers, but again, I’ll do my best to help.

There is an infamous childhood saying that goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” And while it may be true that words cannot bring physical harm, they can bring irreparable damage in ways we could never imagine.

I’ve learned the hard way, through my own words and mistakes, through my sometimes haughty, arrogant, and prideful attitude, that we can use words to be the deadliest of weapons. Our words can kill relationships, they can kill hope, they can break both people’s spirits and hearts, and worst of all, they can ruin our witness for Christ.

Or we can use our words to heal. We can use our words, both directly and indirectly, to show others Jesus.

I’ve put a lot of thought into how I should, or even if I should, write this. Because in writing, I don’t want these words, my words, to do the very thing I’m with which I’m so concerned, to do more damage than good. So I tread lightly and carefully knowing the weight that words carry . . . my words, your words, all of our words. And as a Christian, these words written here are directed both at myself and my Christian audience, in particular.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. It’s a great way to connect with others, and it can be a powerful tool to reach others for Christ. I have many friends, around the world, through social media, mostly due to adoption. And while many of those friends share beliefs and views that are similar to my own, there are also many who do not. Here’s the thing, my beliefs, my views, and my feelings are no secret. I don’t try to hide the fact that I’m a devout, cover to cover, literal, bible believing Christian. From time to time, I have waded into the minefield that is that of political opinions. However, I’ve learned, the hard way, that arguments are seldom won, minds are rarely changed, and battles are often lost when we are keyboard warriors that forget that those are humans, dearly loved by Jesus, on the other end of our posts and comments.

That’s not to say, I’m always silent, never speak out, or excuse sin. As a Christian, to excuse sin, as it is defined and outlined in God’s word, is not helpful but hurtful to a lost world. But there is a time and a place to address what is biblically right and wrong, and I think that the platform of social media often lacks the ability to communicate both the compassion and love that Jesus would have us convey in addressing such issues.

In other news, I tend toward sarcasm and have a very dry sense of humor, and often times, the things I share may be funny to me, but cause others hurt and harm. That’s not to say that every time I post or repost, I have to become a stressed out ball of nerves afraid of offending someone or everyone. Because, I’ve also found that there are those that are always going to find offense. And my sarcastic sense of humor will still find a way to shine, I’m sure . . . especially as long as we’re continuing with this whole school at home thing because y’all . . . these kids. So don’t be misled, I’m still here for the funny memes, but just because it elicits a chuckle doesn’t always mean I should click that share button without another thought. And before I do decide to post or share, I try to stop and ask myself a few questions:

1. Does this show compassion? Does this show the kind of care and love that Jesus would want me to impart to others?

2. When those who aren’t Christians read these words, what kind of seeds am I sowing? And what kind of seeds am I fertilizing? Because, like it or not, we are always sowing and always fertilizing something.

If you’ve been around for more than a minute, you know one of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.”

Another one I find particularly important and significant, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, to practice wicked works with men who work iniquity; And do not let me eat of their delicacies.” Psalm 141:3-4 The truth is, even if I’m sharing something truthful but do it with an ugly spirit, I’m still eating of the delicacies of wickedness. Passive aggressive ugliness in my words and attitude is just as sinful as ugliness in my behavior and actions.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

I could go on for some time with scriptures regarding our words, but I’m going to close with this. I was hesitant to write this because what I want to convey is not a haughty, judgmental tone toward fellow believers, but instead I want to implore those who belong to Jesus to think before they speak . . . to think before they type . . . to use wisdom and discernment before speaking or posting or hitting share . . . to speak the truth, but let it be laced with love and discretion about when to speak and when to wait. And I promise, with God’s help, guidance, and forgiveness for my mess ups (because y’all not one amongst us hasn’t messed up, and we’ll probably all mess up again), I’ll do the same. And for those that do appreciate my off the wall sense of humor, I’m still here for you. Don’t you worry.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

As I sit here on this Good Friday morning, I struggle to find the words to write. We’re in the midst of one of the strangest and most unsettling times in modern history. And while, on a personal level, we’re safe and well, at the same time, I feel like so many are living with this undercurrent of constant anxiety. No one is unaffected by this situation, whether it be in health or finances or in the everyday living of life. Our world has been upended, and most of us are affected on multiple levels.

So as I sit, I think back to that Good Friday over 2000 years ago. And on that day nothing seemed “good” about it. Jesus had been arrested and was being crucified without cause. His disciples were confused and incredibly scared. Nothing about that day seemed even remotely “good”.

From Luke 23
Jesus Dies on the Cross
44 Now it was about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour. 45 Then the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was torn in two. 46 And when Jesus had cried out with a loud voice, He said, “Father, ‘into Your hands I commit My spirit.’ ” Having said this, He breathed His last.
47 So when the centurion saw what had happened, he glorified God, saying, “Certainly this was a righteous Man!”
48 And the whole crowd who came together to that sight, seeing what had been done, beat their breasts and returned. 49 But all His acquaintances, and the women who followed Him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.
Jesus Buried in Joseph’s Tomb
50 Now behold, there was a man named Joseph, a council member, a good and just man. 51 He had not consented to their decision and deed. He was from Arimathea, a city of the Jews, who himself was also waiting for the kingdom of God. 52 This man went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. 53 Then he took it down, wrapped it in linen, and laid it in a tomb that was hewn out of the rock, where no one had ever lain before. 54 That day was the Preparation, and the Sabbath drew near.
55 And the women who had come with Him from Galilee followed after, and they observed the tomb and how His body was laid. 56 Then they returned and prepared spices and fragrant oils. And they rested on the Sabbath according to the commandment. 

Can you imagine the devastation and disappointment facing Jesus’s followers? Can you imagine how utterly lost they must’ve felt?

And yet . . .

What they didn’t know is exactly what would make, what was seemingly, the worst of all days very good. What they didn’t know was that Jesus had to die in order to be resurrected and bring us true life and forgiveness. What they didn’t know was He was and is the ultimate sacrifice. In the darkest hour of all time, they didn’t realize they had the promise of Sunday.

And that is exactly what is on my mind this morning as we sit in what is a very dark hour for our nation and our world. As Americans, as people in general, we like to be in control, and when faced with the reality that we have no control of a situation, we can easily spiral. But here’s what we do know. Here is our reality in the here and now . . . we may not have any control over the virus . . . we may not have any control over the decisions made by our leaders or our neighbors . . . we may not be able to control the economy or even, our own paychecks right now . . . but we know the One is absolutely in control. And nothing, no virus, no faltering or booming econcomy, no person, no thing will ever change that.

The other day I shared this scripture on Instagram:

Return to the stronghold, You prisoners of hope. Even today I declare that I will restore double to you. Zechariah 9:12

Whatever you need today, it is found in Christ alone. All our hope is found in Him and Him alone so just hold on because Sunday is coming . . .

All My Hope

I've been held by the Savior
I've felt fire from above
I've been down to the river
I ain't the same, a prodigal returned

All my hope is in Jesus
Thank God that yesterday's gone
All my sins are forgiven
And I've been washed by the blood

I'm no stranger to prison
I've worn shackles and chains
But I've been freed and forgiven
And I'm not going back, I'll never be the same
That's why I sing

All my hope is in Jesus
Thank God that yesterday's gone
All my sins are forgiven
I've been washed by the blood

There's a kind of thing that just breaks a man
Break him down to his knees
God, I've been broken more than a time or two
Yes, Lord then
Then He picked me up and showed me What it means to be a man

Come on and sing all my hope is in Jesus
Thank God that yesterday's gone
Yes, all my sins are forgiven
I've been washed by the blood

Come on and sing all my hope is in Jesus
Thank God that yesterday's gone
Yes, all my sins are forgiven
Oh I've been washed by the blood, oh oh

Songwriters: David Crowder/Ed Cash
All My Hope Lyrics, Copyright: Capitol Christian Music Group, Music Services, Inc.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.