Courtney's Contemplations . . .

This morning I poured my coffee and scrolled through the news as I was getting ready to sit down with my Bible for a few quiet minutes.

And there it was. Front and center on every single news site.

COVID-19 . . .

This year has already been a doozy on the illness front. Both flu and flu-like viruses have been running rampant in most of the country, and without even putting this new coronavirus in play, the sickness train seems to still be chugging full steam ahead.

I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a germaphobe. I’ve been known to wash my hands ’til they bleed and have ruined many an item of clothing with bleach. Any other hypochondriacs out there in internet land?

And with the flu season still in full swing, the last thing I want to think about is the potential for a pandemic from a virus we know very little about. Yet, as I sat this morning trying to focus on prayer and the Word, all I could think about was how I’d love to hide out with my family and avoid the world until it all passes. But the reality is “it” is never going to pass. Yes, this virus may die out or play out, but there is always going to be something about which to worry. There is always going to be an “it” to hide from.

So I did what I learned to do many years ago when I can’t focus and the fear of the unknown threatens to overwhelm my ability to pray or study or even put together two rational thoughts. I turned in my Bible to Psalm 91.

¹ He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

³ Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
⁴ He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
⁵ You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
⁸ Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

⁹ Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
¹⁰ No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
¹¹ For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
¹² In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
¹³ You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

¹⁴ “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
¹⁵ He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

In the late winter/spring of 2009, my oldest was a year old, and I was teaching school, when the H1N1 pandemic hit full force. And I was paralyzed with fear. The “what ifs” wouldn’t stop coming, and so, honestly, out of desperation, I started to pray Psalm 91 over my child and my family. I memorized it and prayed it every time that fear would start to take hold. Sometimes quietly under my breath as I worked and shopped and went about daily life (I know . . . I probably looked crazy). Other times out loud and with as much authority as I could muster. But always multiple times a day for weeks.

And here’s the thing, nothing about God changed through my reading and memorizing and praying of Psalm 91. God didn’t change. God doesn’t change. He doesn’t need to. But I do. I’m forever needing to be changed and transformed. As long as I’m living this side of heaven, I’ll still be a work in progress. By seeking Him through Psalm 91, I was reminded, regularly, Who it is I serve. I was reminded that only in Him can I truly find peace. And that need is still there. Maybe the fear is a little less paralyzing, but the need is absolutely no different today than it was 11 years ago.

Things are going to come. Big things . . . scary things . . . things we so desperately want to shut out and hide from . . . things like sicknesses and pandemics and wars and natural disasters will happen. And while I firmly believe that there is no wrong in asking for wisdom in how to prepare (we should prepare if at all possible), we also have to ultimately come to terms with the fact that, in our own human power, as much as we hate it, we have very little control over these things. But we know the ONE that is in control. We serve a mighty, powerful, loving, and merciful God. And if we know Jesus as Savior, we are His, and we’ve already won no matter what comes against us.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

“God does not bless what His word forbids.” Matthew Rueger

This quote came up in my Timehop a couple days ago. I’ll be honest, I had no clue who Matthew Rueger is (I had to look him up), but I fully agree with the quote. At the same time, I realized that just throwing it out there without any frame of reference can seem a bit passive aggressive and legalistic.

I’ve had to think long and hard about how I want to address this. You see I believe heavily in the grace of God. Romans 3:11 says, “There is none righteous, no, not one . . .”. And so without the forgiveness and grace of God, through the shed blood of Jesus, I’m utterly hopeless. We all are.

But there’s something else I believe. I believe in the transforming power of Jesus Christ. I believe that His grace is ever changing us and leading us to repentance. I believe that when we know better, because He lives in us, we desire to do better. Not out of a sense of obligation, but out of a deep desire that comes from the Holy Spirit dwelling and working in us.

“Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?” Romans 2:4

The old testament gave us the law. The new testament gave us Jesus and His grace and forgiveness. But the new testament didn’t negate the law. Jesus fulfilled the law. As followers of Christ, we no longer have to follow every jot and tittle of rule of the Levitical law, but too often we forget to take the bible as a whole. And both the old and the new testament give us rules and guidelines, and yes, even things forbidden, not just because God wants us to have a bunch of arbitrary rules, but because He created us. He is everything. Before the beginning He existed, and after the end of it all, He will continue to exist, and He knows what is best for us.

I see and hear people say all the time, “Jesus never said . . . ” And it’s true. There are a lot of things Jesus never directly addressed, but I can tell a few things He both did and said over and over in the gospels. And He never excused sin. Jesus was most certainly not saying, “Live and let live.”

Jesus healed and defended the weak, the sick, and the sinner . . . the woman caught in adultery (John 7:53 – 8:11) . . . the woman at the well (John 4:1-30) . . . Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-9) . . . so many others . . . He didn’t excuse their sin. He transformed the sinner.

He defended the woman caught in adultery as He challenged those about to cast stones that only if they were without sin were they able to stand in judgment. Then He looked at this woman and said, “‘Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.'” (John 8:10-11). Go and sin no more. He didn’t say, “Hey girl! You’re cool. Keep doing you.” No He told her it was time to change. He looked at her and said, “Go and sin no more.” That’s pretty direct.

The woman at the well ” . . . left her waterpot, went her way into the city, and said to the men, ‘Come, see a Man who told me all the things that I ever did. Could this be the Christ?'” (John 4: 28-29). Jesus directly addressed the things in her life that needed to change. And He did it, not because He wanted to condemn her, but because He wanted to save her. He wanted what was best for her. And she knew that He was not just any man. She realized she was likely standing face to face with the Messiah, and she rushed to tell others.

The people were angry that Jesus chose to associate with Zacchaeus, a tax collector, a sinner. But Jesus didn’t just hang out with Zacchaeus and spend His time validating His sins. Something happened at that table, and after Zacchaeus ate with Jesus the bible tells us, “Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, ‘Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.'” (Luke 19:8). Zacchaeus was transformed in just one meal with Jesus.

The new testament goes on past the gospels, and in much of it, Paul takes a hard line against sin. Not because he was a legalistic jerk that wanted to ruin everyone’s fun, but because he knew, firsthand, how utterly destructive living a life of sin can be to a person.

I often see people throw around the scripture, “Judge not, that you be not judged.” (Matthew 7:1) But there’s more to that scripture, “For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from you eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:2-5)

Jesus goes on to give us specific instructions about how we are to address sin. First, deal with your own mess. Then you can address the mess in you “brother’s” life.

I firmly believe that there is a vast difference between judging of your own accord, because we all know that we can be super “judgy” over stupid things that honestly don’t matter (I legit do not care if you wear “hole-y” jeans to church nor do I think it’s irreverent, and I doubt Jesus does either), and holding things up against the word of God. When we look at God’s truth and address sin, that is righteous judgment that comes not from us but from Him.

So full circle back to the original quote, “God does not bless what His word forbids”. All too often I see people dive into situations and ways of life that are harmful to their very existence, and they want God to bless it. God gave us order, a way of doing things, not because He’s the boss and mean, but out of a deep love and need to protect us. So no, He isn’t going to bless the mess of your own making. But He will change you and enable you to do better.

Maybe you’re saying, “Well there’s nothing I can do to change where I am now.” And for most of us that is absolutely true. We are powerless to change ourselves. But God . . .

Just one example (of many) that comes to mind is remarriage after divorce (and there are definitely biblical grounds for divorce, but that’s a completely different post). I know people that continually struggle with feeling guilty about both their past and their present. That is not what God wants. God does not operate in guilt and condemnation. He loves you too much. You are married now, and you cannot change what is in the past. However, you can do things His way from this point on. But you have to be willing to work with God and trust Him with your healing, with your future, and even trust that you’re fully forgiven. Only then will you be able to stop the pattern of sin and the ongoing feelings of guilt in your life.

And maybe it’s something totally different, but it’s a situation you need to place in God’s hands. Maybe there are things from which you need to run hard and fast. Maybe there are things to which you need to run. Maybe it’s a little or a lot of both. I don’t have all the answers, but I can tell you this, what the world says is good is very rarely what God deems good. And it might not always make sense in the worldly economy, but God’s ways are not our ways. If you trust Him, He will redeem you. He will transform you. He will bring you up out of your past mistakes and sins, and work out whatever situation you’re in for good. He will bless you.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

“When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called My son. As they called them, so they went from them; They sacrificed to the Baals, and burned incense to carved images. I taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by their arms; but they did not know that I healed them. I drew them with gentle cords, with bands of love, and I was to them as those who take the yoke from their neck. I stooped and fed them.” Hosea 11:1-4 NKJV

These words . . . these scriptures . . . they are so beautiful, and they are so telling. Especially verse 3, “I taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by their arms; but they did not know that I healed them.” They did NOT know . . . They did NOT know . . . They did NOT know . . . God’s love for us is evident every single day. He isn’t some far off distant God. Much like it says He did with Ephraim (one of the tribes of Israel), He teaches us hands on, in the moment, not shouting instructions from a distance, but leading us and guiding us face to face. And yet, how often are we walking in defeat because we do NOT realize that God has healed us? How often are we letting old struggles and old sins have power over us because we do NOT understand the healing value and the redemption of the blood of Jesus Christ?

How sad is it, that we don’t walk in wholeness, not because we’re not whole, but because we do NOT know we’ve been made whole? If you’ve ever injured yourself in such a way that it affects how you walk, you know that often times, even after the injury has healed, you’ll still limp as if you aren’t well. You have to retrain your body to walk correctly. The children of Israel were no different. They were living as if they were broken because the did not realize they were made whole. And we do the same thing today.

If you haven’t ever read the book of Hosea, I encourage you to take the time to study it. Whether you look at it literally or figuratively (which I believe it is both), it is a picture of God’s love and longing for Israel despite the fact that Israel continually turned away from God . . . Just a couple scriptures after this we see two things . . . vs. 5 “. . . they refused to repent” and vs. 7 “My people are bent on backsliding from Me . . .”. And yet God never stops drawing the children of Israel back to Him. He never stops pursuing those He loves. Even His anger is only for a season. I often wonder “why” the children of Israel were so rebellious, but then I look at my own life and wonder how often can I say the same? How often do I insist on my own way even when it is far from the best way?

We serve a good God . . . a loving God . . . a merciful God . . . the one true God. And He loves us far too much to leave us in this state. Verse 4 goes on to say, “I drew them with gentle cords, with bands of love, and I was to them as those who take the yoke from their neck. I stooped and fed them.” No matter how bad it seems, God still loves you, and you’re never too far gone to look up and realize you are healed from all that entangles you.

What a beautiful message this Valentine’s Day week. No matter where you find yourself today, God loves you. He cherishes you. He wants you as His child.

Preface to the preface: I wrote this about two weeks ago. Then I scheduled it to post later. Then I unscheduled it because I’m not super comfortable, for whatever reason, with putting this all out there. And I sat on it, but I saw multiple posts on Instagram of women struggling with how they looked, with body shape and size, and just overall with how they feel about themselves. So I’m putting it out there on this Friday morning because I don’t think I’m unique in this struggle. I think it’s a weapon that satan uses against most women at one time or another. It may seem shallow, but when he attacks our confidence in this way, it affects every area of our lives. It affects how we relate and respond to others. So here you go . . .

Preface: Vulnerable is not my favorite word. It is not my “word of the year” nor do I plan on it EVER being my word of the year. And I did not want to write this post. First and foremost, because it is a level of vulnerability with which I’m not really comfortable. Second, because I know it opens me up to judgment, and while I’ve come a long way with caring a lot less about what other people think, I still don’t enjoy putting myself front and center for being judged. But all of this has been running through my mind for weeks, and when I found myself standing in front of the mirror and saying, without a second thought, “I hate my body . . ., ” I realized this needed to be written. Having said that, I need neither comments nor compliments correcting my feelings past or present. If you dislike what you’re reading, that’s fine . . . move on. But if you’ve ever struggled, in any area, with feeling as if you don’t measure up maybe this will speak to you.

I have, for most of my life, had a precarious relationship with my body or maybe I should say, a precarious relationship with loving the body God gave me. I’m very short . . . and inevitably someone will say they’re short too, followed by telling me they’re 5’2″ or 5’3″. Let’s just put it this way, from where I stand, 5’2″ is tall. I’ve also always been relatively petite, and being short has never been an issue for me (except when I have to climb store shelves . . . that’s frowned upon), but I’ve often thought maybe God could’ve given me a slightly smaller frame given my height (and a smaller head . . . definitely a smaller head . . . it’s okay to laugh). I’ve run the gamut on what is considered my healthy weight range, but in the scheme of things, I’ve never really struggled with my weight. Yet, I have struggled greatly with liking what I see in the mirror. There were times, I would have settled for just not hating what I saw in the mirror. Because actual body weight and size and statistics have zero, zilch, nada to do with how we see ourselves. Big or small . . . tall or short . . . I’d venture most women have struggled with this exact thing.

There was a time when the only purpose in exercise, at least for me, was to control my weight. There was also a time when I didn’t think a ton about what I ate as much as I thought about how much I could (or couldn’t eat) to make sure my body stayed exactly the size it “should”. These are not healthy lines of thinking. Just in case you’re wondering.

In keeping with my other unhealthy schools of thought, in the past the words and thought, “I hate my body,” would’ve sent me spiraling through the day . . . obsessing about calories . . . changing clothes multiple times but never finding what looked right on me. And there was a point when those words were a very normal part of my day. But like so many things, God is working this out in me, and instead of changing my clothes or having a meltdown which would’ve meant I was in a terrible mood for most of the day, I felt a check in my spirit that called me on my words.

There’s no need to tell me you’d kill to be my size or I should be thankful or whatever it is that is at the forefront of your mind and on your lips at the moment. Believe me. I know. But see, that’s the thing . . . the way we feel about ourselves doesn’t always make sense. And we live in the age of “love yourself” and body positivity and “just be you”. Yet, it seems like we struggle more than ever. And I have to ask why???

I think the reason is, it’s not really about loving your body . . . or realizing you’re smart enough . . . or being popular and well liked . . . or whatever your particular struggle is. It’s about realizing who you are in Christ. I can repeat all the perfect body positivity mantras. I can exercise and count all the calories. I can read all the books and do all the things to make myself feel and look better. All of that will only carry me so far. But when I think about Who my creator is . . . knowing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made . . . knowing that when I say, “I hate my body,” I’m telling God I hate His creation, that turns the tables in a whole new way.

This realization has been years in the making and will probably continue to be developed in me for many years to come. I will not lie and say that I always look at myself and like what I see. I won’t say that I’m never overly critical or never pick apart my body, but these are the truths I now have . . . I work out because I want to be healthy, physically and mentally. I will continue to exercise because I want to take care of what I’ve been given. I (try to) eat right for the same reasons, but also, I enjoy food. I want to set an example for my children that we take care of our bodies because they are a gift from God rather than killing ourselves just to be skinny or look a certain way. I was created with a purpose, and I am beautiful because I am a daughter of the most high King. Same goes for you, whoever you are and whatever “it” is you struggle with. You are enough because of Jesus in you so when you have those moments where your self worth is in the trash and your self doubt is breaking all time high records, take a minute and remember Whose you are. You are valuable. You are loved. Don’t ever believe any less.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

While we were between trips and waiting to bring Anna home from Bulgaria, I don’t think a single night went by that I slept all night through. During those months between meeting her and picking her up, I struggled hugely with anxiety and fear about the future. Meeting Anna . . . seeing her needs, her huge delays and possible medical needs, how malnourished and neglected she was . . . it was all disconcerting to say the least. And so I would fall asleep each night completely exhausted and wake in the very early morning hours with all the “what ifs???” running marathons through my mind. To stay sane, I started praying through those wakeful hours. And in that I found myself asking God to give me a scripture for Anna. I thought we were bringing home a docile, meek, tiny princess so I fully expected a poetic, soft verse from the Psalms. What I didn’t know was we were bringing home a warrior princess . . . strong willed and a fighter through and through . . . and one morning, as I was somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, God gave me a warrior’s scripture for her . . . ” ‘No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their righteousness is from Me,’ says the Lord.” (Isaiah 54:17) And while I will never say that it has been easy, God has shown Himself faithful through these words time and again.

All that to say, God speaks to me deeply and intimately through His word. I will read a scripture a thousand times and then, suddenly, it will jump out at me in a whole new and fresh way. So each year, instead of coming up with resolutions, goals, or a word of the year (all of which are fantastic but not my thing right now), I’ve started asking God to give me a scripture(s) for the year. Last year, He really used Psalm 19 to speak to me, and Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, My strength and my Redeemer,” in particular, spoke to me. And seeing as how I didn’t exactly master this in 2019 (because I’m a type A, Enneagram 1 perfectionist and need to get it right all. the. time.), I just assumed I’d carry that straight into 2020. Learning to be a work in progress is a work in progress . . . mull on that for a minute.

But the first couple weeks of this year God (again with the “but God”) dropped two scriptures in my heart, and I just couldn’t get them out of my mind. “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight!” Isaiah 5:20-21

And I thought about these scriptures for a long time. Because, honestly, they seemed so obscure to me. So strange and not terribly inspiring at first glance. And then I thought, “What a reflection on our current society and culture?” We live in such a twisted world that takes the truth of God’s word and either disregards it completely or changes it to fit its own agenda. Definitely a scripture for our times. But, while that’s true, that wasn’t exactly it either. At least not fully. As I reflected on these words . . . “call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” I thought about my own personal life. It is so easy in the monotony of the everyday . . . the cooking and cleaning . . . the shuttling of kids to school and games . . . the homework and laundry . . . the raising of my kids (one of whom has hit puberty and whose mouth runs before his brain thinks . . . Jesus take the wheel . . . ) . . . the ins and outs of a very good but often (maybe too) comfortable marriage . . . it’s often so easy to think “this is boring . . . I’m tired . . . I deserve more . . . ” and I took these scriptures as a pre-emptive strike, if you will, against all those things. To never look at all I have and call evil good, and good evil. To never replace light with darkness or call darkness light. To never put bitter where what I have is very very sweet or to call those very bitter things of the world “sweet”. To carefully nuture and guard and tend what I’ve been given. To pray more diligently for my family. To not take for granted ALL the good I have. And to marry it to the scripture God gave me last year to “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart” be pleasing to God.

I know I’m not the only one to which this speaks. Which is why, after a couple weeks of mulling it over, I decided to share. I’ll also add this before I sign off for the weekend, God is no respecter of persons, and I’m not unique. If He’ll speak to my heart, He’ll speak to yours. Read His word. Devotionals are great. Biblically sound teaching is wonderful. But open up the bible and read His word for yourself. I promise He will meet you there.

Sorry folks . . . I accidentally took an almost two week writing hiatus. It was far from intentional, but life . . . the holidays ended, the kids went back to school, my house needed to be put back in order, basketball season is in full swing . . .

I looked up and January is flying by. One thing that is guaranteed as you get older is that time moves faster. I’m 100% certain of that at this point. I blinked and my oldest turned 12. The baby we brought home from Bulgaria has grown into quite the big girl. In my mind, I’m still the same girl I was at 16 . . . with a tad more confidence and a whole lot less care about what others think . . . but basically, the same girl. In reality? The smile lines and wrinkles and spider veins and life lessons and experiences tell a very different story.

The other thing that seems more certain as we age is that we will see those around us hurting. Those we love going through “things”. Those we know well and some we only know from afar facing down big challenges, sicknesses, and heartbreak here on this earth. And I’ve found these words slipping out of my mouth more than once lately, “All we can do is pray.” But y’all those are some of the most inaccurate words ever spoken. Because it isn’t “all we can do”. It’s everything we can do.

When those we love are hurting . . .

When marriages and families fall apart . . .

When we look upon the heartbreak and heartache of this world . . .

When sickness and disease run rampant . . .

When children are dying and starving and being abused . . .

When our own children struggle . . .

When loved ones pass away . . .

When we have good days or bad days or mediocre, mundane days . . .

Prayer should be our first line of defense. That’s not to say that action shouldn’t follow. Y’all know, I’m a big believer in putting actions behind our words. But before we move in any direction, we need to pray. When we look up and realize we’ve done all we can here on this earth we need to pray. Whether we feel the disappointment and grief of defeat or raise our hands in victory, we need to pray.

And when it’s so hard to find the words, and you’re not even sure how to pray rest assured that the Holy Spirit “himself is making intercession” (Romans 8:26). Prayer should be where we start and where we end and entrenched throughout the middle of everything we do. Because from my viewpoint, there is no other way I’m getting through this life.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

• I can be a perfectionist . . . to a fault.
• I often set the bar too high for myself and others.
• I’m driven.
• I’m bossy.
• I’m conservative in almost all respects.
• I’m passionate and compassionate.
• I’m impatient.
• I’m funny in a very dry and unfortunately, often, sarcastic sense.
• I get mad at people that drive too slowly . . . sometimes . . . a lot of times . . . I drive too fast.
• I abhor crying in front of people. But, also, I cry when I’m angry.
• Speaking of getting angry, I rarely get angry, but when I do . . . watch out.
• I love fiercely.
• I’m tenacious.
• I don’t quit . . . even when I should. But when I’m done, I’m DONE.
• I’m smart.
• I’m organized . . . I love being organized.
• I’m a worrier. I have a tendency toward anxiety.
• I’m cautious . . . or responsible . . . or fearful . . . it all depends on the situation and how you look at it.
• I love SciFi movies and books of all genres, as long as they’re fiction. And with a few exceptions, I don’t love non-fiction, unless it’s the bible, or a good devotional, or maybe, a research article or blog.
• Sometimes I read medical studies for fun.
• I’m not athletic, but I do have amazing stamina.
• I love to cook, and the kitchen is where you’ll find my “fly by the seat of my pants”, little bit of a rebel, throw the recipe out the window, creative side.
• I’m an Enneagram type 1, and the poster child for the Type A personality.

I’m me . . . the good, the great, the not so great, the ugly. I don’t believe recognizing or owning these things gives them any more or less power in who I am. Because I’m also far more than the sum of these personality traits.

And that list . . . I didn’t put it up as some kind of self deprecating humble brag. Nor did I put it up to toot my own horn. I put it up because I’ve learned, I am learning, that those things in me that are weaknesses, twisted by my flesh, are the places where God shows Himself strong. And those things in me that are strengths, I need to let God refine them and use them.

For a lot of my life I didn’t see myself as good enough. And I would try to hide the things about myself that I thought weren’t so “cool” so people didn’t think less of me. Because being too smart, or too “nerdy”, or loving SciFi, or reading too many books is definitely not “cool” <insert eye roll>. I feel like I spent so much time during the first half of my life trying to make others like me . . . trying to measure up, but never really being who God created me to be. I can remember in college, when I finally realized that people actually liked me for who I was, that was a major, eye-opening moment for me. I’ve also wondered how much easier life (junior high? high school? . . . ) would’ve been had I learned this lesson a little sooner. But the hardest lessons, those most worth learning, take time.

And, now, at almost 39, I’m more confident in who I am than I’ve ever been before. Some people will love me. Other people won’t. I’m okay with both.

And none of this confidence is because of me, but because of Him in me. I often joke that I was born an adult, and so with each passing year, instead of feeling like I’m getting older, I feel like I’m growing into myself. And there was a time, I couldn’t see that. There were a lot of years I just felt out of place. But God . . . it’s always, “but God” . . . has shown me, with each year that comes and goes, that I am exactly who He created me to be. That doesn’t mean that I’m perfect. That doesn’t mean that I’ve arrived. That most certainly doesn’t mean I won’t mess things up royally from time to time, or say the wrong thing, or offend someone. I’m still growing and learning and being refined. But it does mean that I can be confident in who I am. That I have value and worth because I’m a child of the most high King. That I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”, and because of that, I can be unapologetically me.

I say all that to, finally, say this (there is a point . . . I promise), the same God that created me, that placed the moon and the stars in the heavens, that spoke the world into existence, that sent His Son to die for my sins, He also created you. And you are beautiful, and unique, and have value because of that. So be proud of that. Own your good, He placed it there. Own your quirks and all the little things that make you uniquely you, He placed those there too. Let Him work on the not so good and even, the ugly, but never be ashamed of being who God created you to be. Never be ashamed of being truly you.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved         

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

I was all set to write an end of the year post about not setting New Year’s resolutions/goals, but instead, having constant and ever evolving goals that we’re reaching for and adjusting throughout the year. But then I read this quote by one of my favorite authors and apologists . . .

“Human history is the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.”

C.S. Lewis, “Mere Christianity“

So much is summed up in that one simple quote. And all of the reflection, the resolution making, the goal setting, the vision boards done as one year closes and another year opens . . . all of it matters very little if we’re not seeking Him first. Like so many things in life, these things aren’t bad, they actually serve a very “good” purpose. I’d even go so far as to say we need to set goals and have a purpose in our lives, but y’all, we need to do it with eternity in mind.

More and more, as I grow (just a little) older, I look at my life and wonder, “What is the eternal effect of my earthly choices?” Because, you see, if I’m just doing things for my own personal gain and promotion, I’m missing the point.

I’m currently a stay at home mom and full time housewife. Two things I never thought I’d be when I finished college and first got married, but as our family and my husband’s business both grew, we knew it was the right thing for us. For the most part, I love it, but at times it can be exhausting in a way that working full time never was. And it’s far from glamourous or even pretty a lot of days. Sometimes I look up, and I realize that my life is an endless cycle of cleaning and laundry and cooking and reading with kids and doing homework and school meetings and programs . . . you get the point . . . and I actually love it all, but that’s not to say it’s not tedious and monotonous somedays.

But when I stop and look at what I do in light of eternity my focus shifts and what seems routine becomes eternal.

I get to stay home and keep my home in order. It is a privilege to shepherd my children. To make my home a safe and comforting place for my whole family. That’s not to say it’s always perfect or I’m always perfect. Not even close. Somedays, I’m impatient and yell. Sometimes, I’m grumpy and need just one more cup of coffee, but there’s a ministry in motherhood, in parenthood, that is oft overlooked and minimized. Regardless of how that looks for you, whether you are working in your home or outside the home, your role as a mother, as a parent, is one of the most important and holy callings of your life.

So as I look at my goals for the year, I look at them with an eternal focus. I choose to make the best choices for me knowing that they’ll help my family . . . to be healthy physically because I’m not the best version of myself when I don’t get enough exercise and eat well . . . y’all know I always say that God made our bodies to move . . .to keep my house and my life in order because that brings peace in our daily routine . . . to be present for my children and my husband . . . to be more patient . . . to spend time in the Word daily . . . to write more . . . to give my time and focus and attention to organizations and ministries that are changing the lives of hurting children and orphans throughout the world . . . to be more mission minded and less me minded in my giving . . .but to know, that none of these are the things after which I want to chase. And if it all comes to a screeching halt because of injury or illness or just a bad day or a bad month . . . that’s okay, because I’m not chasing after any of these goals. I’m not chasing after perfection and results. I’m chasing after the One for whom it all matters. I’m chasing after God.

2019 was a weird year. It had its high points and big adventures, but it also had some pretty low and scary and sad points for both my immediate and extended family. I never like to look back at a year as all of anything . . . because nothing is all good or all bad. As I look back at this past year, I see so many good things, and I see how God is always faithful in even those hardest moments. How He is there in the hard and there is a holiness in the hard that isn’t found in so many of those easy moments in life. There’s growth in the hard. There’s change in the hard. Hard doesn’t always equal bad. Hard doesn’t always equal evil. And hard and good are not mutually exclusive despite what our flesh may say. I pray for good in 2020, but I also pray for peace and change and growth in my own heart.

May you have the Happiest of New Year’s as you look forward to the start of a new year and a new decade.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Copyright 2019, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved          

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer, unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14

As a babe, born in a manger . . . as a man, crucified on the cross . . . as a Savior, risen from the dead . . . fully God . . . fully man . . . “full of grace and truth”. . .

Grace and Truth . . . two words . . . two concepts which are not mutually exclusive. Yet they often are treated, by Christians, followers of Christ, by me, as if they are.

The end of the year isn’t my favorite. After the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it can feel like kind of a let down. Anticlimactic if you will. And in that, I’ve never been one to make resolutions or big, lofty, or even un-lofty, goals at the start of the New Year. But last year I asked God to place on my heart a scripture for the year, and the verse He gave me comes from Psalm 19.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

Because I’m still very much a work in progress, I will be carrying this scripture into a new year, a new decade. But this morning, as I often do, I opened my Bible app to read the scripture of the day, and I skimmed down to read those words in John 1:14. I’ve probably read them a thousand times over. And, as it should be, my focus has always been on the first parts of the scripture . . . the Word becoming flesh . . . the glory of the only Begotten coming to live among us. But He didn’t just come to live among us. He came “full of grace and truth”. Those words, grace and truth, are not just an afterthought tacked onto the end. They are a description of exactly Who our Savior is. Fully God . . . fully man . . . “full of grace and truth”.

So as we look forward to a new year and a fresh decade, I pray that through the power and grace of God, the words I say, the thoughts I think, will be full of both grace and truth. To speak the truth with boldness but not bitterness. To speak the truth with grace and not condemnation. To speak the TRUTH that changes lives through the power of the Holy Spirit. To think on, dwell on, meditate on those things which are pure and right and holy. Those are my goals for 2020.

Copyright 2019, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved         

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

I could feel the panic rising in me. The fear that “it” wouldn’t all get done. That “it” wouldn’t all be perfect. That someone would feel let down. My kids had been sick for going on two weeks. Christmas parties were missed. Plans cancelled and changed. My days focused on comforting sick babies (okay not exactly babies . . . but yeah . . . ) and disinfecting and then disinfecting some more. Cans of Lysol . . . Gallons of bleach . . . Towels, and sheets, and blankets all washed then washed again for good measure. And the daily chores? The normal daily cleaning, and cooking, and running of the house? All but forgotten. So how on earth would I get caught up for Christmas? I was not keeping it all or even a little together. I felt like that particular train had derailed about 10 miles back.

Christmas time . . . the most wonderful time of the year . . . Christmas time . . . the most stressful time of the year.

But then that still small voice broke through the loudness of all that was happening.

“For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

Christmas time . . . the most beautiful time of the year . . . not because of anything any of us can do. Not because of gifts or family or parties . . . all of which are wonderful and well and good. But because of Him. Because of a Savior come to earth as a babe and laid in a manger. Perfection in human form.

“His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace . . . ”

Christmas time . . . the most peaceful time of the year if only we’ll let it be . . . because amidst the busy-ness and bustle, the loudness of the season, He wants to be our Prince of Peace, our place of calm in the crazy . . .

May you have the Merriest of Christmas remembering why we celebrate.