Courtney's Contemplations . . .

Throughout the course of my life, I’ve read and heard it dozens upon dozens of times, The Parable of the Prodigal Son.

You have two sons. One older and responsible. One younger and wild. The younger takes his inheritance early, goes out into the world, blows all his money partying, and finds himself destitute and starving. But he wises up, realizes his father’s servants have more food and comfort than he does and heads back home. His plan is simple, admit his sin and live as one of his father’s servants, but when he gets close to home his father, who I’m sure has been sick with worry (if you’re a parent you know), sees him coming and runs out to greet him. And he doesn’t just greet him, he throws him a party to end all parties. He gives him robes and jewels and kills the fatted calf. There’s music and dancing . . . “party” is kind of an understatement. Meanwhile, big bro, the responsible one, comes in from the fields and sees this going on, and he. is. furious. I mean steaming. He has a little tantrum . . . refuses to come in. Points out to his father that he’s the good one. And up to this point he’s never even given him a goat (which y’all if I’m asking for anything, it ain’t a goat), and the father says, “Kiddo, it’s all yours. It always has been. But your brother was lost and is found, and we have to celebrate.” Not much was said about the older brother from that point, but I feel like he was at least appeased, went in, and life went on for everyone. (This is the Courtney’s Contemplations version of this parable. The actual version can be found in Luke 15:11-32. )

As I said in the beginning, I’ve read or heard this parable countless times. And two things were always the focus. First, the younger brother, he’s the picture of “I once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind but now I see . . . “*. Words written years later by another prodigal, slave trader John Newton, who found salvation and redemption at the foot of the cross. He is all of us, lost without Jesus, and the father is our Heavenly Father, celebrating each of us that comes into His kingdom. But second, the older brother, he’s typically vilified . . . what a spoiled brat? I mean . . . am I right?

Only, as I was reading this parable again, very recently, the thought that came to me was “I get it. I relate to the older brother. I probably would’ve felt the same way.” I even wrote “relatable???” off to the side in my bible. Of course, that was immediately followed by that least favorite of feelings that still pops up from time to time . . . shame. How could I relate to the selfish older brother? How absolutely shameful. I mean no he didn’t burn all his inheritance with a life of utter debauchery, but he was such an entitled brat. He was unforgiving and selfish in his own right. How could I relate to that?

But God . . . I’m so thankful for those two, very common, words in my life.

But God, in that moment, in His graciousness and mercy, through the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. The older son wasn’t put in this parable to be shame inducing (God is not in the shame business) nor was he just a side note. God knew, God knows, that some of us are that older brother. That we work and strive (which y’all that’s always us trying to earn our way to God rather than leaning on His mercy and grace . . . it’s wrong and unattainable in its own right), and He knew that often, in doing that we will feel hurt, marginalized, unnoticed.

If you go back to the father’s response in Luke 15:31-32, “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’ “, you’ll notice, the father doesn’t lecture him. He doesn’t call him and entitled, selfish brat (those were my thoughts). He just says, “It’s all yours. It always has been.” The unspoken words there? “All you have to do is ask.” And in reading that again, I realized that the older brother is far more than just a minor character in this.

Some of us will relate to the prodigal, but some of us will most definitely relate to the older brother. And Jesus knew that. Jesus knew some of us would, from a very young age, give our hearts to Him and walk with Him and grow throughout our lives with Him, and that’s very good. All that He has has always been ours, but those that are lost and seeking and filling their lives with everything but the right thing, when they return, when they come to Jesus, we absolutely should kill the fatted calf. We absolutely should celebrate. Every life saved is worth celebrating. And every prodigal that returns should be met with joy. Because it is no small thing.

It took me weeks to write this. Weeks to wrestle with the fact that I relate far more to the older brother than the younger son. Weeks to be willing to admit that in written word. Weeks to realize that God, my Father, knew all this from the very beginning. He created me. He gets me. And so yes, I relate to the older brother, and maybe you do too . . . or maybe you relate more to the prodigal . . . regardless of where you land, He loves you, He wants you, and all that He has is yours.

Copyright 2021, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

* Amazing Grace, John Newton, 1772

Yesterday, I watched as absolute chaos ensued in our nation. I prayed and grieved, but I held my tongue because I knew that nothing I was going to say was going to help. This morning I prayed for wisdom . . . for the Holy Spirit to guide my words and use my mouth to speak for Him.

As I was on the treadmill at the gym with worship music blaring in my ears, these words from Glorious Day by Passion rung so true “When I was broken you were my healing, now your love is the air that I’m breathing, I have a future, my eyes are open, ’cause when you called my name, I ran out of that grave . . .”. And the cry of my heart was “Jesus” . . . “I need you Jesus!” . . . “We need you Jesus!” . . . “Our nation needs you Jesus!”

Republicans and Democrats need Jesus.

We are entrenched deep in sin . . . we kill unborn babies . . . we’ve not honored God’s plans for our lives, our families, our marriages . . . we worship men as if they’re a “god” and God as if He’s a man to be used and manipulated . . . hatred, jealousy, bitterness, wrath, envy, backbiting, dishonesty, manipulation . . . idolatry, pride, and out of control ego are the norm and not the exception . . . we have bloodshed and rioting and utter destruction . . . the list goes on. The world is dark. The sin is rampant.

But Jesus.

Nothing is going to change without the blood of Jesus. Nothing will fix this mess we’re in but Jesus. If we want revival . . . if we want healing . . . if we want wholeness . . . it starts and ends, with Christians at the foot of the cross seeking His face and repenting. It starts and ends with us asking the Holy Spirit to lead us in all truth. It starts and ends with us on our knees praying for change in our own hearts.

How can we expect others to come to Christ if we’re not willing to lead the way? If we’re not willing to humble ourselves and repent? If we’re not willing to be the light and let go of the bitterness and hatred in our own hearts?

Despite what others may think, speaking up and speaking out with boldness does not come naturally to me. I will often say that I’m not going to say anything because when I do I make people on both sides of the aisle angry. Believe it or not, I neither enjoy nor relish being hated by anyone. And speaking the truth, even when it’s truth I know without a doubt God has placed on my heart, is rarely met with acceptance. But out of all the bad that has come from 2020, God has taught me the importance of being bold . . . I must speak His truth with boldness, grace, and wisdom no matter who it offends or makes angry.

“If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

It’s time for the people of God to seek His face. It’s time to stop making excuses for sin and start standing, fully, on the word of God. It’s time for boldness in Christ. It’s time to walk in humility and true, unconditional love. The only way forward, the only future for us as both individuals and as a nation, is through Christ.

Copyright 2021, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

Getting into the shower only to realize there were two small, broken, pathetic slivers of soap left, I annoyedly got out and took the three short steps it takes to get to the linen closet while two irritated thoughts ran through my head in rapid succession, “Why am I always the one replacing the soap?” and “If I am the one always replacing the soap, then I’ll always be the one replacing the soap.”

And that’s when that still small voice whispered, “It’s about the soap.”

Or picking up the socks . . . doing the laundry . . . making the bed . . . letting the dog out . . . giving the little ones baths . . .

Or maybe it’s about washing the dishes . . . tidying up . . . doing the yard work . . . pulling the trash bin to the road . . . wrestling kiddos to bed . . . paying the bills . . .

It’s about the soap . . .

Marriage, I mean . . . serving . . . commitment and vows . . . loving one another well . . .

It’s not tit for tat. It’s not serving only as much as you’re served. It’s not giving only what you get or about an equal division of labor, his and hers roles, keeping track of everything you do and everything he (or she) doesn’t.

It’s about the soap . . .

It’s about sacrifice in both the big and the small. It’s about choosing to love well on the easy and the hard days . . . yes, even when you’re annoyed. Because y’all love is absolutely a choice and an action and is most definitely not a feeling. It’s about realizing that we all fall short, and we all have hard days. It’s about giving one another a whole lot of grace.

So maybe I’ll always be the one replacing the soap or picking up the socks. And maybe he’ll be the one that always makes the bed or drags the trash bin to the road. And you know what? That’s okay.

It’s about the soap. And that is exactly how it should be.

Copyright 2021, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Could not put Humpty together again.”

There’s a fragility to every single human being that cannot be ignored. No matter how much we may wish . . . no matter how hard we try to shut off and shove down our emotions, heartbreak, and pain, there is no way we’re going to avoid all pain in this life. There are going to be times on our earthly journey where we’re going to be so shattered that no person or thing on this planet can put us back together. I’d even go so far as to say we were created that way.

But God . . .

Two of my favorite words of all time . . . but God . . .

The truth is God created us to do more than just merely exist with other humans. He created us to love and live in relationship with others, and He does want us to play an integral role in the lives of those around us. He never created us for isolation or aloneness, but He also created us in such a way that there is no way, no matter how hard we try or how good we are, that we can fully bring healing or completion or wholeness to one another. Only Jesus can do that for us.

So maybe you’re feeling broken and shattered today, and maybe “all the King’s horses and all the King’s men”, despite their very best attempts, can not put you back together, but rest assured there is a King that not only can but will if only you’ll ask. On the cusp of a new year, I encourage you not to do this alone. Not to face another day, hour, or minute without Jesus. It’s not complicated. All you have to do is simply ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior . . . to forgive your sins and be the One who puts you back together. I promise it is a decision you will never regret.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:16-17

Copyright 2021, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

*Humpty Dumpty – Mother Goose’s Melody, 1803

That’s the word I heard as I was going about my weekly cleaning routine, pondering and praying, and wondering, if I were to choose a “word of the year”, what would it be?

Relax . . .

Hard eye roll.

You’re funny God.

Relax . . . it conjures up days of laying on the couch, watching endless movies, and doing little else. And there is nothing wrong with any of that (seriously, absolutely nothing wrong with it at all). It’s exactly what some people need . . . it’s how God made them, but it’s not something for which I’m totally hardwired. I do my best relaxing while moving. My ability to be physically still is very limited. And leaving things undone is anything but relaxing to me. At the same time, I’m learning that I need to learn to stop. To sit still sometimes. To not constantly be in motion.

I was raised with a strong work ethic. “Work first play later” is something I often can be heard saying to my own kids. But like any good thing, a good work ethic can be twisted and distorted into being an obsessive, workaholic (can a stay at home mom be a workaholic?) with a never ending, ever growing list of tasks. In other words, my work is never done so I rarely stop to “play”. And this is something that God has been working on in me, literally, for years.

As I’ve said before I almost never set goals for the new year, and that’s because I’m always setting and adjusting and resetting goals, but going into 2021, after this especially challenging year that 2020 has been, I decided I needed to take the time to get my head on straight. So I prayed about what God wanted for me going forward and decided to set general goals for this year.

1. Relax . . . “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. “ (Psalm 91:1) . . . dwell . . . rest . . . relax . . . it’s not just a physical thing . . . although sometimes a little physical stillness is something I need to learn to embrace . . . but relax . . . mentally, emotionally, and spiritually . . . stop striving for perfection . . . rest in God . . . it’s a never ending lesson that I seem to be continually learning. There’s nothing wrong with getting things done . . . there’s nothing wrong with discipline . . . with structure and order and schedules (and cleaning everything all the time . . . am I right?), but if it doesn’t happen, if it all comes crashing down, can I let it go? Can I trust God and relax knowing I’m not in control, I never was, but He always is, and because of that, it’s all going to be okay? Can I live out Psalm 91:1?
2. Continue to develop my spiritual health and growth . . . to get in the word and pray on a regular basis, but also, expand my studying, writing, and journaling.
3. Continue to make my physical and mental health a priority but not an idol. There’s such a fine line, but I do believe that God calls us take our health seriously and do our part to take care of our bodies while trusting Him to do what we cannot.
   • Physically, the goal is to work out four times/week with at least two strength sessions, but if that doesn’t happen every single week that’s okay too.
   • Mentally (and emotionally), I have already drastically cut back on soc. media . . . particularly on Facebook . . . but I plan to continue to spend far less time on Facebook and Instagram. Not because I have any problems with the platforms in and of themselves, but I find that Facebook disrupts my peace so much, and Instagram is a time suck that interrupts my focus. As someone who used to be an avid reader, I want to read more (open ended goal) and spend far less time on social media.
4. Stop with the low key judgment . . . I’ve said this before, but most on which we pass judgment has zero moral or ethical implications. Basically, someone does something differently than we (read: I) do, and we are quick to get super “judgy”. God made us all different. So embrace that. You do you, and I’ll do me, and let’s be cool with that.
5. Priorites . . . keep them straight:
   • First, God – not church, not ministry, but my actual relationship with God.
   • Second, Patrick & my marriage – always working, with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, on being a better wife, and second only to my relationship with Christ.
   • Third, Kids – asking the Holy Spirit to teach me and lead me as a mother.
   • Fourth – Church, Home, Extended Family, Everything Else . . .

And those are my 2021 goals. Documented for posterity (and mostly, for myself).

Happy New Year’s Eve y’all. Let’s make 2021 the best yet!

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

If you’ve been around for a little while you know I’m not a big New Year’s Resolution/Goal setter. Nor have I ever been a been a big “Word of the Year” person in the past. I wrote this post, Full of Grace, Full of Truth, at the end of 2019 having no idea what lay ahead in 2020. None of us did. Only God knew. As I reread that post, I’m not sure I got there . . . way too often, I administered a healthy dose of truth without any grace . . . but I’m so thankful for a savior who is full of grace . . . I’m so thankful for another opportunity in 2021.

“Though I speak with tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies; they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-8

I can be the holiest, know the bible backwards and forwards, have all the faith in in the world, give everything I have . . . but if I treat others badly, if I don’t have love, it’s all for nothing. I’m nothing more than a “sounding brass or a clanging cymbal” . . . translation? To be really blunt, I’m an obnoxious, loud Christian screaming at others to have more faith . . . to be better . . . to be holier . . . bottom line, to be more more like me (definitely should not be your end goal) . . . You know how many people that brings to Jesus? Not many.

It’s. Not. About. Me. It is about Jesus.

That’s the lesson I want to hold onto from 2020, and the truth I want to carry forward into 2021. Love isn’t just a flowery emotion that feels good. That comes and goes as it pleases. It’s an action . . . it’s work . . . it’s actively and intentionally putting others first . . . it’s serving . . . it’s kindness . . . it’s gentleness and humbleness . . . as always, I am a work in progress, but I pray when I look back over this year, that, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I see more of God and less of myself with each passing day. That I see the evidence of true love in my own life.

So 2021 . . . still . . . Full of Grace, Full of Truth . . . but also . . . Full of Love, Full of Hope.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

“God could, had He pleased, have been incarnate in a man of iron nerves, the Stoic sort who lets no sigh escape Him. Of His great humility He chose to be incarnate in a man delicate sensibilities who wept at the grave of Lazarus and sweated blood in Gethsemane.”

C.S. Lewis

The simplicity of the story of Christmas, the celebration of the birth of a baby, is also what makes it so very profound. Our Savior, came not as a triumphant king, but as a baby born in the most humble of beginnings. Born in a stable. Placed in a manger. A birth witnessed by animals and the angels and celebrated by shepherds. The most significant of nights of which almost no one knew . . . yet the most significant of nights that would forever alter the course of history. A night that brought eternal hope to a perpetually weary world. Without that baby we have no Messiah. Without Christmas no Resurrection. Without the Resurrection no hope.

How thankful I am I serve a God willing to come to earth as a babe knowing we could never be good enough to reach Him. How thankful I am for those humble beginnings just over 2000 years ago. How thankful I am for the hope of Christ today.

From Luke Chapter 2

Christ Born of Mary

¹And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. ² This census first took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. ³ So all went to be registered, everyone to his own city.

⁴ Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, ⁵ to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was with child. ⁶ So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. ⁷ And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Glory in the Highest

⁸ Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. ⁹ And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. ¹⁰ Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. ¹¹ For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. ¹² And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”

¹³ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

¹⁵ So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.” ¹⁶ And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. ¹⁷ Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. ¹⁸ And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds. ¹⁹ But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰ Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.

Whatever you are facing this year. However your Christmas may look, may you know that our hope lies not in celebrations or gifts or gatherings, but in a savior born in a manger, crucified as a man, and risen as our Messiah. May you know true hope and peace this Christmas.

For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of His government and peace
There will be no end,
Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,
To order it and establish it with judgment and justice
From that time forward, even forever.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.

– Isaiah 9:6-7

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

“Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!” But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying , and considered what manner of greeting this was. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a son, and shall call His name JESUS. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.” Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?” And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God. Now indeed, Elizabeth your relative has also conceived a son in her old age; and this now the sixth month for her who was called barren. For with God nothing will be impossible.” Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word. And the angel departed from her.” Luke 2:26-38

Thirteen verses . . .

A brief encounter . . .

Lives completely disrupted . . .

The day was likely the most normal of days. Mary, a young teenager, was going about her business as usual. Maybe thinking of her upcoming nuptials. Maybe thinking of the tasks that lay before her on that day. And suddenly, there stood before her an angel.

A young woman’s life never the same . . .

The world forever changed . . .

The confusion . . . “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”

The fear . . . the life altering consequences of what was about to take place.

Mary wasn’t being asked to do a small thing. The repercussions of being a young woman, betrothed, and pregnant by a man not her husband were staggering. At best Joseph could divorce her (and he almost did). At worst she could’ve been stoned. Thankfully, after his own angelic encounter, neither happened. But Mary had no way of knowing what was to come.

Make no mistake, I fully believe Mary could’ve said “no”. I fully believe God knew she wouldn’t. I fully believe that He chose a willing servant, but He did not remove her free will. And yet, after asking only one simple question, “How can this be . . . ?” because a little clarification . . . a bit of explanation . . . was warranted here, Mary does what I’m convinced most of us would not do. I’m pretty certain, I would’ve had a moment . . . a “Woah, hold on a second . . . I think you have the wrong virgin . . . ” kind of a moment. But not Mary. She responded with, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.”

Mary was willing . . .

Her world had just been rocked. The thing she was asked to do would not only impact all mankind (although, I’m not certain she fully grasped she was going to give birth to the Messiah), but had major implications for her personal life.

Yet, she was willing.

Although, Joseph neither divorced nor had her stoned, can you imagine the gossip? The wagging tongues and raised eyebrows? The whispers as she made her way through the market place? The words uttered . . . “crazy . . . the girl thinks an angel visited her” . . . “promiscuous. . . she tried to convince everyone she was pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit” . . . “poor Joseph . . . he really has no idea what he’s gotten himself into . . . “.

Yet, Mary was willing . . .

And not only willing. Willing would’ve been enough, but Mary went further. Just a few verses down we see her visiting her cousin, Elizabeth and uttering praise to God. As we read her words there is both an eagerness and a joy that goes far beyond just willing.

“My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant; For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed. For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name. And His mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with His arm; He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts, and exalted the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty. He has helped His servant Israel, in remembrance of His mercy, As He spoke to our fathers, To Abraham and to his seed forever.” Luke 1:46-55

“My soul magnifies the Lord . . . “

I do not think Mary was perfect nor do I believe she was sinless. I don’t worship Mary, but I do call her blessed. And I’m so thankful, that just over 2000 years ago, a young girl was willing . . . willing to give up all she expected . . . willing to sacrifice for her God . . . willing to have her world rocked so she could give birth to my Savior . . . to the Savior of all mankind.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

I don’t think there’s a one of us that is not looking forward to putting this year behind us. We’ve all been affected, on some level, by this pandemic and all the subsequent craziness. We’ve all seen, and in some cases personally suffered, huge heartbreak and loss during these past ten months. 2020 has been staggeringly difficult. I don’t think anyone would argue with that.

And yet . . . I find myself, on these last days before a Christmas . . . a Christmas that will look so different for so many of us . . . looking back and counting all the good that has come out of this year. I find myself wanting to take it all in . . . to slow down these last few days of 2020 . . . to cherish the blessings that have accompanied the crazy . . . because even with all the turmoil of this year, there have been so many blessings.

We were forced to take a pause. Forced to slow down. Forced to homeschool . . . insert a whole lot of sarcasm and a few laughs on that one . . . but I realized, the thing I thought I couldn’t, wouldn’t ever, absolutely had no desire to do, I absolutely could do, and I did. And my children survived. As did I . . . still don’t want to do that again. Ever.

We found ourselves spending more quality time with our loved ones than ever before, appreciating the fresh air and sunshine, game nights and movie nights and going for a long run. And now what may have seemed forced in the beginning, I crave and desire more than ever. Last week as we wrapped up the last couple of days before Christmas break, I found myself looking forward to these next few weeks at home. I’ve found, in the slowing down of this year and this holiday season, that my tolerance for the busy-ness and the never ending hustle and bustle has waned.

That’s not to say I don’t miss so many things . . . school programs, basketball games, traveling, extended family gatherings . . . that’s not to say we’ll come out of 2020 unscathed and untouched . . . believe me, there’s no way.

Yet in the midst of it all, I am so grateful.

Grateful for a husband I love more than ever.

Grateful for two beautiful children who sometimes drive me crazy . . . yes, even my teenager.

Grateful for the hours spent in the kitchen cooking and baking and trying out new recipes . . . the kitchen is my therapy.

Grateful for the fact that we’ve learned how to do new and hard things.

Grateful for hours spent in prayer and the lessons God has taught me through this season.

Lessons on humility. Lessons on pride and selfishness. Lessons that have helped me understand that putting others ahead of myself shouldn’t be a huge sacrifice but a way of life . . . not that I’ve mastered any of these. I’m sure as we step into 2021 and move through the months, closer to a resolution, and desperately trying to move full speed ahead toward normalcy (and yes, I know we’re not there yet . . . I wear my mask, and wash my hands, and keep my distance . . . you know, the whole putting others first thing), I’ll have to learn some of these lessons again and again because I can be inherently selfish. But today, I want to soak it all in. I want to remember . . . I want to memorialize . . . all that 2020 has brought with it. And I want to count my blessings. Every single one.

Because at the end of the day my prayer is not for easy. My prayer is not for perfect. My prayer is simply “You are good, and do good; Teach me your statutes.” Psalm 119:68

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.

I try to be very careful about what I share here regarding my kids. I always try to veer away from anything too personal and keep it very general, but today, I feel like I need to share a little bit more because there’s a lesson to be learned and glory to be given to our God in this testimony.

Five years ago, we traveled across the ocean to bring our daughter home. Home to a family. Home to a place where she was, for the first time in her almost three years of life truly loved, fed, and nurtured. When we picked up our daughter we picked up a child who was chronologically almost three, but in every way, emotionally, physically, and mentally, an infant. And we didn’t know at that point what her life would hold . . . there were so many “Will she ever . . . ?” questions, and we picked her up without answers to any of those questions but knowing that God had brought her to us. We were her family, and we would love her no matter what.

What I did know was that God had given me a scripture that I held onto fiercely and prayed (still pray) over my girl daily, ” ‘No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,’ says the Lord.” Isaiah 54:17

I had no idea exactly what this meant in terms of my child’s future, how this would look or play out, but I knew that I knew that God had given me these verses for her. Those first weeks, months, and years were not easy. Understatement of the year (and that’s hard to do in 2020). We fully realized it would be hard going in, but there’s something about living it . . . I spent more time in prayer and leaning into Jesus than I ever had before. It was the only option because He was the only thing that held me together in that first, long year. And we slowly, sometimes so slowly that it seemed non-existent, saw progress.

Fast forward to this exact time two years ago. We had seen big jumps in development. Good steps toward secure attachment. Big things happening and big steps forward at home and at school, but there were still major hurdles, challenges, and struggles developmentally, academically, and emotionally. As we were coming up on her annual evaluations and meetings, I felt so unsettled with the environment she was in and plan she had . . . not because the teachers and therapists were bad . . . they definitely weren’t (and to this day she still has many of those same teachers and therapists just in a different capacity) . . . but because I felt like she just wasn’t where she should be. Although that environment did seem to fit her “skill set”, so to speak. At the same time, I was really learning to advocate for my daughter, to speak up, and God was so faithful in placing amazing people in her life and circle that were able to look past her struggles and see what was capable of.

As we prepared for that meeting, and I prayed, I felt prompted to write down very specific goals for her but not only to write them down, but to share them with her team. And y’all, I was terrified. I genuinely thought they would think I was crazy. These were some pretty “lofty” goals, but I had no doubt God was placing them in my heart. I would’ve never pushed so hard on my own. Still, it was one thing to write down those dreams and goals and keep them between God and me. It was a whole other thing, to march into the school with 10 typed copies outlining exactly what I expected. I didn’t have an exact timeline on these goals. But I knew that we needed to start moving forward on them.

So in I went. Goals in hand, and heart pounding. And what I was met with was almost totally unexpected. Instead of looking at me like I was crazy, first her principal, and then her team (and my goodness, this girl has. a. team. . . . phenomenal is the only word for her people) came alongside us and set things in motion to work toward achieving those goals.

There’s a lot that has happened over the past two years. I cannot overstate the hard work that has gone into everyday, not only by her team, but by my sweet, spunky girl herself. She is the definition of overcomer. And I most certainly cannot overstate how good God is. Today, I sat in her annual meeting, virtually because, COVID, with this amazing team of hers, and today, we realized that those goals I typed out two years ago had been met. Today, as I tried to keep tears at bay, we made a new plan from this point forward because those “lofty” goals are now reality.

Do we still have challenges? Absolutely. There will always be new “goals” to set and new dreams to reach. But my daughter is far more than those goals and has a story (which the nitty gritty details are hers to share, or not, as she grows older) that’s far from easy, but it’s what makes her who she is. It’s both beautiful and heartbreaking, and healing, in and of itself, isn’t an end goal but a life long process. I cannot predict all of what the future holds, but I know her story is still being written.

I share all this, not because I’m so amazing. As a parent, I fail regularly. My kids will attest to that, I’m sure. But God never fails. He is so faithful, and I’m so thankful that even though I was terrified, I listened, and wrote down, and took the risk and put all of what God was placing in my heart for her out there. I’m also sharing because I want you to know that God is no respecter of persons. What He has done for me, He’ll do for you. Maybe your goals and dreams (for your children, yourself, your marriage, your family . . .) will look totally different from mine . . . I’d venture that they absolutely will look totally different . . . we’re all unique . . . we’re all special . . . and God has a unique plan for each of us. But I encourage you to take the risk, to write it down, to put in motion what God is placing in your heart, and then lean into Him, do the work He is calling you to do, and watch Him turn ordinary into extraordinary.

Copyright 2020, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved 

The writings and images contained within this site are the intellectual property of this writer unless otherwise noted, and may not be copied or used without express permission of the author.