I try to be very careful about what I share here regarding my kids. I always try to veer away from anything too personal and keep it very general, but today, I feel like I need to share a little bit more because there’s a lesson to be learned and glory to be given to our God in this testimony.
Five years ago, we traveled across the ocean to bring our daughter home. Home to a family. Home to a place where she was, for the first time in her almost three years of life truly loved, fed, and nurtured. When we picked up our daughter we picked up a child who was chronologically almost three, but in every way, emotionally, physically, and mentally, an infant. And we didn’t know at that point what her life would hold . . . there were so many “Will she ever . . . ?” questions, and we picked her up without answers to any of those questions but knowing that God had brought her to us. We were her family, and we would love her no matter what.
What I did know was that God had given me a scripture that I held onto fiercely and prayed (still pray) over my girl daily, ” ‘No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,’ says the Lord.” Isaiah 54:17
I had no idea exactly what this meant in terms of my child’s future, how this would look or play out, but I knew that I knew that God had given me these verses for her. Those first weeks, months, and years were not easy. Understatement of the year (and that’s hard to do in 2020). We fully realized it would be hard going in, but there’s something about living it . . . I spent more time in prayer and leaning into Jesus than I ever had before. It was the only option because He was the only thing that held me together in that first, long year. And we slowly, sometimes so slowly that it seemed non-existent, saw progress.
Fast forward to this exact time two years ago. We had seen big jumps in development. Good steps toward secure attachment. Big things happening and big steps forward at home and at school, but there were still major hurdles, challenges, and struggles developmentally, academically, and emotionally. As we were coming up on her annual evaluations and meetings, I felt so unsettled with the environment she was in and plan she had . . . not because the teachers and therapists were bad . . . they definitely weren’t (and to this day she still has many of those same teachers and therapists just in a different capacity) . . . but because I felt like she just wasn’t where she should be. Although that environment did seem to fit her “skill set”, so to speak. At the same time, I was really learning to advocate for my daughter, to speak up, and God was so faithful in placing amazing people in her life and circle that were able to look past her struggles and see what was capable of.
As we prepared for that meeting, and I prayed, I felt prompted to write down very specific goals for her but not only to write them down, but to share them with her team. And y’all, I was terrified. I genuinely thought they would think I was crazy. These were some pretty “lofty” goals, but I had no doubt God was placing them in my heart. I would’ve never pushed so hard on my own. Still, it was one thing to write down those dreams and goals and keep them between God and me. It was a whole other thing, to march into the school with 10 typed copies outlining exactly what I expected. I didn’t have an exact timeline on these goals. But I knew that we needed to start moving forward on them.
So in I went. Goals in hand, and heart pounding. And what I was met with was almost totally unexpected. Instead of looking at me like I was crazy, first her principal, and then her team (and my goodness, this girl has. a. team. . . . phenomenal is the only word for her people) came alongside us and set things in motion to work toward achieving those goals.
There’s a lot that has happened over the past two years. I cannot overstate the hard work that has gone into everyday, not only by her team, but by my sweet, spunky girl herself. She is the definition of overcomer. And I most certainly cannot overstate how good God is. Today, I sat in her annual meeting, virtually because, COVID, with this amazing team of hers, and today, we realized that those goals I typed out two years ago had been met. Today, as I tried to keep tears at bay, we made a new plan from this point forward because those “lofty” goals are now reality.
Do we still have challenges? Absolutely. There will always be new “goals” to set and new dreams to reach. But my daughter is far more than those goals and has a story (which the nitty gritty details are hers to share, or not, as she grows older) that’s far from easy, but it’s what makes her who she is. It’s both beautiful and heartbreaking, and healing, in and of itself, isn’t an end goal but a life long process. I cannot predict all of what the future holds, but I know her story is still being written.
I share all this, not because I’m so amazing. As a parent, I fail regularly. My kids will attest to that, I’m sure. But God never fails. He is so faithful, and I’m so thankful that even though I was terrified, I listened, and wrote down, and took the risk and put all of what God was placing in my heart for her out there. I’m also sharing because I want you to know that God is no respecter of persons. What He has done for me, He’ll do for you. Maybe your goals and dreams (for your children, yourself, your marriage, your family . . .) will look totally different from mine . . . I’d venture that they absolutely will look totally different . . . we’re all unique . . . we’re all special . . . and God has a unique plan for each of us. But I encourage you to take the risk, to write it down, to put in motion what God is placing in your heart, and then lean into Him, do the work He is calling you to do, and watch Him turn ordinary into extraordinary.
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Courtney's Contemplations . . . 