Continual Transformation

Hi my name is Courtney . . .

Just in case you’ve forgotten who I am.

I’ve had about 40 different ideas rolling around in my head for the past three weeks or so, but absolutely no spare time to sit and write. It’s the season we’re in, and that’s cool.

But today, I had just a second, and these are the questions I’ve been pondering.

Why is it that change is so hard? Why is it that it’s so difficult to see our own faults? We all have blind spots. Why do we refuse to try to see around the proverbial blind spots and better ourselves? Again, I ask, why is change so hard?

They’re rhetorical questions, but also, they’re questions to which I’d love to have answers. And to be clear, I’m talking about myself as much as anyone else.

None of us are perfect. But it’s really hard to admit that.

We’re mostly creatures of habit, and change only for the sake of change isn’t logical. But also, refusal to change, to see things differently, to listen to others, only keeps us stagnant.

I was recently dealing with a situation where a decision made by someone else made absolutely no sense. It wasn’t about doing what was best for those involved. It was purely about digging in their heels and doing it the way it had always been done because that was how it had always been.

My response was, “I’m a rule follower. I’m all for listening to those in authority and doing what they say. BUT also, make it make sense.” Rules should make sense, and as leaders, we should be willing to step back and listen to others.

All of this leads me back to the aforementioned questions. AND it leads me to asking myself, do I do these things? Do I dig in my heels when I should be listening to others? Am I inflexible when flexibility would serve everyone best? Am I leading by example or am I using “because I said so” to get what I want? I’ve done it all. I’ve refused to listen. I’ve resisted flexibility and stood on “because I said so” more than I care to admit.

John 16:13 says, “However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.”

And

Luke 8:17, “For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light.”

These scriptures have become my prayer. For those around me, yes, but just as much for myself. That the Holy Spirit will lead me in all truth . . . even when it’s a truth about myself I don’t necessarily want to own. That the things that need to be revealed will be revealed, and the things that need to be transformed will be transformed.

I will never fully arrive this side of Heaven. That’s not how it works. But one day, when I look back at my life, I hope to see a path, a trajectory, if you will, that shows continuous growth and transformation. I pray I’m never content with just being good enough but continually avail myself to the transforming power of the Holy Spirit.

And with that, I’m off to pick up one kiddo and head to basketball games for another. I’ll be back when I’m back because this is the season I’m in, and I’m learning to embrace it.