Disclaimer: What you are about to read is written in jest. Humor is how I deal with hard things, and I think, in the midst of what is a very difficult and often isolating time we all need a little levity. I am not oblivious to the seriousness of our current situation in any way. Nor am I flippant about what is happening. I am very aware of the effects of COVID-19 medically, emotionally, financially . . both for my family on a very personal level, for others individually, and for our world as a whole. COVID-19 is not funny, but my kids are, as is my life at times. And sometimes, I just have to laugh at the craziness in which we’re currently living. If you’re going to be bothered by the humor, or if you’re going to message me to tell me how I should appreciate home schooling my peeps or about how bad screens are or whatever, feel free to click the X in the upper right corner.
Y’all I feel like we’re all starring in an apocalypse movie, but not just any movie, a really bad, low budget film . . . a really bad, low budget film without any toilet paper to be had.
My kids are out of school until at least April 6th, but I’m thinking it will be longer. And even though I taught school for ten years, I am not about that homeschool life. Not even a little. Hear me now, I do NOT want to teach these people. They don’t listen to anything I say, and those four years in college and ten years in the classroom mean nothing to them. Nothing. Nope. Not wanting to do this even a little.
I’m writing this on Tuesday, Saint Patrick’s Day, and Day 4 (might as well be day 4000) of our social distancing/quarantine. I’m finding out that, although I’m an introvert, I’m not really about that quarantine life either. My kids are currently on spring break so I’m using that to justify inordinate amounts of screen time, but at some point today or maybe tomorrow, I’m going to get my act together and write out a schedule for the next few weeks . . . or maybe I won’t. I don’t know.
This morning my youngest, who hasn’t worn clothes in four days (she’s not about that clothing life), was coloring so nicely at her little desk, and I thought, “Well that is great. Look at her coloring.” FYI she hates to color. What didn’t I know? I didn’t know she had gone into our den closet and managed to get the markers off a shelf she cannot reach. I didn’t know that not only was she coloring all her coloring pages solid black, but she had also colored her arms, face, and belly button. Enter inordinate amounts of screen time.
I fed my kids breakfast at 9:00 a.m. today. At 9:30 a.m. they asked when we were eating lunch. Fix it Jesus.
Thank the good Lord above, I love to cook because all the restaurants are either closed or closing. But when planning for meals last week (I have to do our weekly grocery run tomorrow . . . pray for me), I didn’t think my meals through very well, and every meal is heavy on rice, pasta, and/or cheese. The Coronavirus 15+ is going to be a thing if I continue to cook and eat the way I’ve been. We’re going to need some veggies up in this place.
In order to survive with our decency intact and not turn into total sloths, I’m about to enact some rules:
- Get dressed . . . in actual real clothes (but only one set/day . . . I’m also not about that laundry life) Monday – Friday.
- Bathe and brush teeth daily . . . my 12 year will think he’s being abused but we are social distancing . . . not hygiene distancing.
- Go outside, weather permitting, or at least, get some exercise, daily.
- Read daily.
- Do school work as needed.
- Eat real food not just junk.
- Kids clean up their messes and complete normal daily chores, and grown ups (that’s Patrick and I in case anyone is confused) continue with weekly chores so our house is not a pit.
- Limit screen time to 1-2 . . . maybe 3 . . . maybe 4 hours . . . just try to limit daily screen time. My kids will have all the feelings about this.
- Go to bed at a decent time.
- Turn off the news. Pray more . . . for all those that are sick, scared, struggling . . . for my family and friends but also the healthcare workers and first responders and grocery store employees and those without family or resources. Help fulfill and meet needs when and if I can. Hug my kids and kiss my husband (ewww 😜 . . . but also, that’s definitively not social distancing 🤷🏻♀️). Play games. Laugh. Listen to music. And enjoy and appreciate my very blessed life.
This is uncharted territory for all of us right now, and while I knew this virus could be a thing, I didn’t realize how much of a thing it would turn into. But we’re going to do this. We’re going to look back and have a heck of a story to tell our grandkids. We’re going to learn big lessons and small lessons, and hopefully, we’ll come out of this better people than we went in.
And for every mom (or dad or grandparent) attempting to maintain normalcy in the chaos, may the odds be ever in your favor.
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