Goodness of God . . .

I love technology. I love my laptop, and my ipad, and my phone, but at the end of the day, I’m a paper and pencil girl. I have a paper planner that I use to keep track of all the things . . . appointments, events, parties, games, and so on . . . and I have this little notebook that I use to, well, take notes. When I read my Bible, and I feel like God is speaking to me, I write it down in that notebook. I’ve found that the act of physically writing helps to cement it in my mind.

In the same vein, I keep a running prayer list on a random page in that notebook. And I refer back to it regularly. As prayers are answered I check them off. As requests evolve and change, I make little notes. And as new prayer requests come up, I add them.

Here lately, I feel like the list is growing faster than the check marks. Some of the prayer requests are good. They’re what I look at as a preemptive strike against whatever may come. I regularly add expecting (pregnant or adopting) and new mamas to the list, and if you’re expecting and want prayer, I’m here for it. I regularly add those going through big life changes (often good but hard) to my list. I regularly pray for health and well being and protection of those I love. I pray for transformations and touches from God. Those things are never dropping off the list.

But y’all . . . this past month or so, I’ve seen mamas rush to the ER with their very sick babies. I’ve seen people lose loved ones. I’ve seen emergencies and heart break and flat out exhaustion. I’ve been reminded time and again that there are children without families and orphans chained to beds. And I’m here for that too. All of it. I often say, “I wish I could do more.” And you know what I mean. God knows what I mean. I wish I could physically fix what is hurting. I wish I could make all things right. But, newsflash, I’m not God, and at the end of the day, prayer is real and the most powerful weapon we have. Prayer ushers us before the throne of the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. He is our Father, our Friend, our Creator, our Healer . . . Prayer shouldn’t be a last resort but a first line of defense.

Life is beautiful, but sometimes, life is HARD. Sometimes life is heartbreaking. You are never going to hear me say to those in the trenches of the hurt, “You just need to have more faith . . . you just need to pray more . . . trust more . . . “. That’s why we have one another. I think about the paralytic that was lowered through the roof of a house, by his friends, so that he could meet Jesus (Luke 5:17-26). There was no way he was getting there on his own. Maybe he wanted to. Maybe he didn’t. We don’t really know, but I’ll tell you this, without his friends he was staying right where he was. In that passage the Bible refers to “their faith” (vs. 20) not his faith. That’s what the body of Christ is for. Not to tell you, you need to do better or you need to pray more, but to be there to lower you through the roof to meet Jesus when you can’t get there on your own. To lift you up and come alongside you when you cannot do it on your own.

I was rowing this morning at the gym and listening to music. Working out is one of the few times my brain quiets long enough for me to “hear” God clearly (I have a very loud brain . . . God and I are working on that). And rowing is one of the few workouts I can do where I can close my eyes and not kill myself so I rowed, with my eyes closed (which I’m sure makes me look crazy but whatever), and I listened to these words:

“Goodness Of God”
Bethel music and Jenn Johnson

“I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In the darkest night You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a Father
I’ve known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

‘Cause Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me
Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me
With my life laid down, I’m surrendered now
I give You everything
‘Cause Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me
‘Cause Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me
Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me
With my life laid down, I’m surrendered now
I give You everything
‘Cause Your goodness is running after, it keeps running after me

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God
I’m gonna sing, I’m gonna sing
‘Cause all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God”

If you’ve lived any amount of time on this earth, you’ve been led through the fire. I think back to 2014 when, in a span of a few weeks, my world came crashing down as our first referral for the baby we met and loved was pulled, and then my grandfather went to be with Jesus. I think back to those last days of 2015 and early 2016 when we had just brought home a child, who was for all purposes a three year old infant. Who had lived all her life in an institution. Who had been starved and neglected. Who was terrified and had no clue how to live in a family. I think back to how she fought against love and comfort with every fiber of her being. I think back through fours years of beauty and four years of, sometimes painful, growth as we have walked through the fire with her. I can recall so much more than this handful of things going back so much further, but I felt like the most recent “highlight” reel conveyed my point. And here’s what I can say . . . In the fire God is there. In the darkness God is there. In the joy and the beauty and the pain and the heartache . . . God is there for all of it. And through it all, God is faithful. God is good.

Copyright 2019, Courtney G Davis, All Rights Reserved      

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