The holidays flew by at lightning speed. One second it was November 1st and five minutes later it’s almost mid-January. It seems like the older we get the faster time goes. I know I’m not alone in this. I think it’s a favorite lament of those my age (ahem . . . in their 40s) and older. We love to talk about how fast time goes . . . how busy we are (my favorite complaint) . . .
I had a realization at some point in December. Somewhere between the insanity of two basketball games and a tournament and a driving test (watch out world) all in one week for my oldest plus a Christmas party and a million fun holiday activities for my youngest, I really realized, I have a 16-year-old and an almost 11-year-old. They are not babies anymore. Not even close. It’s no longer “the days are long, but the years are short”. We’ve reached the point in life where I can now declare, the days are short, and the years are even shorter, but I had a brief second just before Christmas to stop and reflect. I am the mother of a 16-year-old. Sixteen y’all. Next up is 17 and then 18! In two and a half short years he’ll be packing up and getting ready to head off to college. The years I have left with my oldest in my home are short . . . and they are busy . . . and they are full of all the things. And I can either embrace them, or I can complain about them.
I didn’t get as many books read in 2023 as I wanted. I didn’t have much time to sit quietly with a cup of coffee and read. I missed a few workouts here and there, and I didn’t get to bake and make all the usual holiday treats. I have to prioritize what’s really important (ad nauseum . . . God, marriage, kids . . .), and you know where I landed? I’m happy with our crazy, full, insanely, busy life.
It’s not that I am one of those people that thrives off of never being home or constantly going. It’s that I realized that there will come a day when I have the time to sit and read with a cup of coffee that’s still warm. When I can fill my days and my schedule with more of my stuff and less of their stuff, and those will be awesome days. But that’s not today, and these days are equally as awesome.
If you’ve read any amount of my writing, you know I’m all about embracing each stage of our kids growing into the most independent people they can be. I’m not about holding onto infancy, or toddlerhood, or childhood . . . I’m a huge fan of encouraging them and allowing them to grow up and become who God has created them to be. Some days that’s really tough. It’s tough to shut up and let them fail. It’s tough not to step in and control everything. Other days, and more and more with my oldest, it’s actually kind of enjoyable. Watching him grow from a boy to a young man is such an honor. With my youngest, who does have some developmental delays, every step toward more independence is a privilege to watch and be a part of. Wherever she lands, I’m so proud of who she is. I love watching my kids thrive and grow and learn and do the hard things in this life.
One day, I’ll sit and stare at my Christmas tree (I took it down a while ago, but you get my point) and read my books quietly. I’ll sleep past 5:45 a.m. I’ll go shopping when I want and clean my house on a schedule that makes sense and possibly, not miss my workouts . . . maybe . . . I’ll have time to cook and bake and write and travel when everyone else’s kids are in school. One day . . . But for today, I’m going all in on this season of raising and launching these two incredible young people we love so much.
Are we busy? Yes . . . we are wonderfully and insanely busy.
Are we blessed? Beyond measure.
Do I need more caffeine? Absolutely.
Courtney's Contemplations . . . 